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trosevear's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
trosevear's favorite FMLs
Today, my mother-in-law confessed that for the longest time, she had fantasies about killing me for "ruining" her daughter's life, basically because I'm not wealthy enough for my mother-in-law's standards. She made sure to let me know the situation hasn't changed at all. FML
by Anonymous / 06/04/2014 at 10:34am / United Kingdom (Lancashire) / Love
Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML
by gassymomma / 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got my first massage. At the end, the masseuse made a gesture indicating which way the exit was. After having had her hands all over my body for the past hour, I thought the gesture was indicative of a goodbye hug. Things got awkward really fast. FML
by AlwaysAwkward / 03/02/2014 at 9:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML
by Annonymous_Dad / 05/01/2013 at 7:22pm / United States (Indiana) / Animals
by Bigfatfailure / 03/28/2013 at 6:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by And I'm still single / 03/24/2013 at 4:59am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my husband showed up late to my mother's funeral. He swaggered in, happily finishing off a half-eaten taco. His excuse for why he was so cheerful: "She was an in-law, honey." Good to know I married a piece of shit in disguise. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 1:30pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML
by Anonymous / 03/23/2013 at 11:21am / Norway (Sor-Trondelag) / Intimacy
Today, I held hands with the boy I like. Without thinking, I commented that his right hand is softer, as if he only used lotion on that one hand. And then we stood there in terribly awkward silence. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 12:57am / United States (Missouri) / Love
by themouseman1212 / 03/10/2013 at 12:13pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by anony / 02/27/2013 at 8:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by MsCobb / 02/16/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Ohio) / Love
Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML
by chattyloz / 02/07/2013 at 7:31am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML
by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
- Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between… Today, my neighbor asked to come over and use my laptop. She showed up drunk, grabbed my boobs, and…