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tripleshame's favorite FMLs
Today, at work, my mouse cursor kept randomly moving all over the screen, and messed up an entire day's attempted work. As I was leaving, I overheard one of my co-workers saying he'd plugged a wireless mouse adapter into my computer, and had been trolling me all day. FML
by tech_support / 11/04/2011 at 12:05pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work
Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML
by gotitEVERYWHERE / 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm / United States (Georgia) / Health
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
by annonymous / 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by JohnB / 10/19/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/06/2009 at 2:13am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML
by Noname / 02/12/2009 at 1:00am / United States (Oregon) / Geek
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- Today my fiancee and I were having sex, it was lovely and we both were really into it. I decided to… Today, my bike brakes failed as I was going downhill. I ended up running a light and hit a car at… Today while walking to the shop under the blistering African sun, I stepped on something that stuck…
- Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of…