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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I was working the cash register. While helping a customer with her groceries, my bra snapped. I then had to ask my male boss if I could staple it back together. Thirty minutes later it snapped again. I then had to explain to my boss that I was too broke to buy a new one. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15422) - you deserved it (1325)
On 08/31/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by thatgirl17 - United States
Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26054) - you deserved it (1531)
On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)
Today, I accidentally decoded the system my parents use for talking about sex while I'm around. It's a substituion cipher, using literary references. As they're both lit. professors, this has me perpetually grossed-out and wondering, "Are they really talking about Anne Frank, or anal fisting?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (17381) - you deserved it (1307)
On 08/26/2012 at 5:21am - misc - by ewww (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29516) - you deserved it (2878)
Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25603) - you deserved it (5042)
On 01/15/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, while spending the night at a friend's house, I was woken up by someone kicking me. I figured she was having a nightmare, and since we were sharing a bed, I reached over to wake her up. Turns out it was her boyfriend trying to push me off the bed because they were having sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31438) - you deserved it (2151)
On 01/14/2012 at 6:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35344) - you deserved it (2760)
On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21023) - you deserved it (12055)
On 12/11/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by Embarrassed Swimmer (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
I agree, your life sucks (47440) - you deserved it (4251) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, after three days of getting stared at by my neighbour from the window, I realized that she wasn't alive anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36941) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/01/2011 at 9:02pm - health - by unknown52 - Netherlands (Overijssel)
Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27508) - you deserved it (2326)
On 11/19/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Tyler - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7098) - you deserved it (22925)
On 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by dunicha - United States (Texas)
Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22753) - you deserved it (1762)
On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while cuddling up on the couch with my boyfriend, I asked him if this was his happy place too. He said, "Nah, it's in pussies." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22812) - you deserved it (7024)
On 11/05/2011 at 2:58pm - intimacy - by whatadisappointmnet (woman) - United States
Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50111) - you deserved it (3490)
On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 20 May 2013
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