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treeguy72

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treeguy72
  • Town/Country : Moline, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 4 January 1972 (42 years)
  • Number of visits : 846
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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treeguy72's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to leave my one-night stand in my flat because I was giving a guest lecture at the local university. Halfway through, I hear someone sneaking in so I jokingly asked if they had a 'wild night out.' It was the guy I slept with. FML

#14119620
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9401) - you deserved it (33801)

On 12/07/2010 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by openmouthinsertfoot (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I spent hours voluntarily decorating my town for Christmas. After a break, I came back to find someone had re-positioned the wooden reindeer to make it look like they were humping. FML

#14115471
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22259) - you deserved it (7718)

On 12/07/2010 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my daughter and husband decided to surprise me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumps back from the hug and says "ewwww smells like fish." FML

#14112923
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32857) - you deserved it (11275)

On 12/06/2010 at 9:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was going through my mom's old yearbook. There was a page long note from her friend talking about my mother's crazy drunk sex stories and describing multiple sexual encounters she had while on a pool table. I am deeply scarred forever. FML

#14110669
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22239) - you deserved it (8753)

On 12/06/2010 at 7:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my doctor told me to buy some KY Jelly and a dildo to help "loosen me up" so sex isn't so painful. I haven't been able to have sex for 6 months because it hurts so badly, and now my doctor has basically told me to go fuck myself. FML

#13937569
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31410) - you deserved it (7381)

On 11/22/2010 at 2:36pm - intimacy - by painfulintercourse - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

#13915907
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14994) - you deserved it (51582)

On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML

#13894887
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12231) - you deserved it (26089)

On 11/19/2010 at 12:04am - intimacy - by kay_jay1819 (woman) - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML

#13886809
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27935) - you deserved it (5177)

On 11/18/2010 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I realized the only times my boyfriend ever says "I love you" are after he screws up or when he wants a blowjob. FML

#13853970
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20537) - you deserved it (4670)

On 11/15/2010 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by rockefoe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

#13840378
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23086) - you deserved it (6770)

On 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm - kids - by nicki - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML

#13837705
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22827) - you deserved it (3548)

On 11/14/2010 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my parents asked me if I had a nice time with my girlfriend at the amusement park I took her to yesterday. She was pretty freaked out by some of the rides so without thinking I said, "Yeah, but she sure is a screamer." My parents then exchange a look and say, "Oh trust us, we know." FML

#13836763
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11283) - you deserved it (25601)

On 11/14/2010 at 2:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get too excited, I want to watch The Princess and the Frog tonight." I just got cockblocked by a Disney movie. FML

#13817966
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31833) - you deserved it (6383)

On 11/12/2010 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by roberto (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32664) - you deserved it (19790)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)



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