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treeguy72's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML
by raebelle / 06/02/2011 at 1:32pm / United States / Health
by brittaneejanex / 06/02/2011 at 12:06pm / United States / Animals
Today, I went bowling with some friends. After a few beers I was showing off spinning the ball around on the tip of my finger. One trip to the ER and two crushed nuts later, I've found that mixing alcohol and heavy shiny balls is not a good idea. FML
by paulwatson93 / 05/17/2011 at 12:28am / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I walked out of my house, waved at my neighbors, walked through my front yard and into the side yard to turn off the sprinkler. It wasn't until I was back into the house that I remembered I wasn't wearing a top. FML
by eringoBRA / 05/06/2011 at 10:07am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by Blondie / 05/05/2011 at 4:01pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Health
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
by megomania / 05/02/2011 at 9:51am / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Burnt / 05/02/2011 at 5:33am / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I went outside to smoke a cigarette. I had my headphones in and was blasting my music. It was also cold so I had my hood up. I had my back turned to the house and wasn't paying attention. My brother thought I was a burglar and tackled me to the concrete. FML
by Ouch / 04/10/2011 at 4:55am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by Monique / 04/10/2011 at 2:50am / United States (Texas) / Health
by torny>horny / 04/10/2011 at 12:42am / United States / Love
Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML
by 2classicNot2 / 04/09/2011 at 3:52am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
by jonh_215 / 04/08/2011 at 12:09pm / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 11:30am / United States / Health
by stairmaster / 04/05/2011 at 3:47am / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.… Today, at daycare, a mother congratulated me for having such a kind and well-behaved little girl.… Today, a young woman on the subway asked me to hold her pocket mirror open in front of her. I asked…