About transcedental : Um. Hai. I've been reading FML 6 months after it came out as a site. I think. I rarely comment, tho. But if you step upon a comment of mine, click on my profile and read this, don't feel free to message me. Mwahahah. Don't even think about it. I will ignore you till the end of time. kthxbye.
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transcedental's favorite FMLs
Today, I was using a public toilet when someone entered the stall next to mine. Instead of using the facilities, the person in there reached under the stall to steal my bag. Fortunately, I was holding the strap so they couldn't take it. Unfortunately, they decided to take my right shoe instead. FML
by fordneagles / 06/11/2012 at 1:56am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 06/10/2012 at 5:14pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Love
Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML
by eddie818 / 06/10/2012 at 3:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
by rachiej8 / 06/10/2012 at 12:13am / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML
by LaurenB / 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Health
by boohoo / 06/04/2012 at 8:45am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love
by nanall / 06/04/2012 at 3:19am / United States / Kids
by ironyisabitch / 06/02/2012 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was playing an online game in nothing but my boxers, when suddenly a girl joined my team. I immediately felt embarrassed and put some pants on. There were no webcams involved. I need to get out more. FML
by furred / 06/01/2012 at 12:48am / Philippines / Geek
by stalked / 05/28/2012 at 2:24am / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I got yelled at and called a pedo by a mother after I sat down in a swing next to her daughter. I was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm a 20 year old who really does enjoy swinging in my spare time. FML
by CA19oo / 05/27/2012 at 9:13am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
by cloudberry / 05/27/2012 at 4:00am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I texted my friend and asked her what her sad status on Facebook was about. She texted me back saying her step-mother had passed away. I tried to reply with "awwh" but my phone autocorrected it to "ahaha." FML
by iPhonekid / 05/27/2012 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by morethanredhands / 05/21/2012 at 1:56am / Intimacy
- Today, I was riding the subway when a beautiful topless girl walked into my car and sat directly in… Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and… Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his friends about how great the sex was last night, and how…
- Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…