About transcedental : Um. Hai. I've been reading FML 6 months after it came out as a site. I think. I rarely comment, tho. But if you step upon a comment of mine, click on my profile and read this, don't feel free to message me. Mwahahah. Don't even think about it. I will ignore you till the end of time. kthxbye.
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transcedental's favorite FMLs
by pussyface96 / 09/19/2012 at 5:27am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/22/2012 at 2:01am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML
by dawn / 07/21/2012 at 12:24pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML
by Anonymous / 07/09/2012 at 6:37am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous
by nobrony / 07/02/2012 at 3:53pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
by deli Shoppe / 06/27/2012 at 12:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML
by cmck932012 / 06/26/2012 at 2:18am / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2012 at 10:52am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals
by latino14 / 06/15/2012 at 7:27am / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML
by amidreaming?? / 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, I overheard my boss and a co-worker talking about me. Apparently when I speak, I slur my words so badly that it sounds like I'm speaking in tongues. According to my boss, "he could be possessed by a demon right now, and we'd never even notice." FML
by bronieswillrule5eva / 06/11/2012 at 2:16pm / Canada (Prince Edward Island) / Work
- Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…