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tpagacz's favorite FMLs
by headache / 02/22/2015 at 8:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. I let her play with a box of old Star Wars toys to keep her occupied while I quickly went to use the bathroom, and when I returned she was making the 15 or so figures have a massive orgy, sex sounds included. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2014 at 6:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids
Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML
by Sonofa / 05/17/2013 at 11:52am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking a dump in a public toilet, when a guy in the next stall started drunkenly rapping. He kept trying to get me to rap along with him, eventually bashing the wall and threatening to bust my face in if I didn't. I soon found out I can rap to Slob On My Knob pretty well. FML
by rapper in training / 02/10/2012 at 8:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous
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- Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, it’s exam day in Sweden. Yesterday, I prepared three fountain pens and six cartridges. The… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish…