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toxxickittyy

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toxxickittyy
  • Town/Country : Garden City, USA
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 July 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 228
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About toxxickittyy : WoW nerd to the max, but I do enjoy other games. I'm an achievement hunter.

toxxickittyy's last visitors

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toxxickittyy's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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toxxickittyy's favorite FMLs

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28357) - you deserved it (3180)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34698) - you deserved it (4991)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my first day at a new school. I transferred here halfway through the year to get away from a girl who bullies me. She's apparently bullied her mom into transferring her here as well. FML

#20513405
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38759) - you deserved it (2634)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by SchoolSucks (woman) - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart, he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40236) - you deserved it (8915)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I went in to get my first tattoo. I'd put a lot of thought into it and was really excited when the day came. Long story short, the Celtic knot I'd gotten turned out to have an alternate meaning of "female sex slave." The faces my very Irish family made were beyond words. FML

#20511821
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12108) - you deserved it (31329)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:50am - intimacy - by UnluckyInk (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my high-strung and normally very proper mother took twice her prescribed dose of Ambien, and extolled the virtues of a "full blown sexual relationship with oneself", advising my teenage sister to "only include the men when they behave." FML

#20511803
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28612) - you deserved it (2708)

On 02/18/2013 at 3:24am - intimacy - by buxton1 - United States (California)

Today, while on my way to the movies, I stopped at a gas station to pick up candy so I could avoid the high prices at the movies. The guy who tore my ticket asked for my purse, confiscated my candy, and then kicked me out of the movie theater. That guy was my boyfriend. FML

#20510592
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43953) - you deserved it (7824)

On 02/17/2013 at 10:50am - love - by Cheyennereed - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to take a jog in an area we never been before. We then got lost. She actually thought that the tattoo on her arm of an open compass with north, east, south, and west would help us. FML

#20510517
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26805) - you deserved it (5130)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML

#20510255
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26380) - you deserved it (5708)

On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML

#20509329
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28730) - you deserved it (5079)

On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

#20506870
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30551) - you deserved it (5904)

On 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

#20506625
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25057) - you deserved it (3067)

On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

#20506184
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8062) - you deserved it (27785)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11241) - you deserved it (49953)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he found out my birthday is the same day as his, and he thinks we are twins who were separated at birth. FML

#20505216
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37340) - you deserved it (2873)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:09pm - love - by okay then (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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