Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

toxxickittyy

Offline (21 hours ago) | Search for a member

toxxickittyy

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 July 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1027
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About toxxickittyy : WoW nerd to the max, but I do enjoy other games. I'm an achievement hunter.

toxxickittyy's page activity

Visits<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 4:07am<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 5:29pm<b>joreser</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:12am<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 07/27/2015 at 7:52am<b>Logic_friend</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:21pm<b>Devyn333</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:27am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 6:53am<b>peceout</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:04pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 10:23pm<b>SurfingPichu</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:41am<b>coldasfire</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:58pm<b>PePziNL</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 8:55pm<b>Axelo</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:09pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 2:11am<b>Tezoma</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 4:17pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 2:06pm<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:14am<b>lukian</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:37pm

Fucked!<b>barisozdemir</b> - the 11/05/2015 at 10:07am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 12:53pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 4:23am<b>coldasfire</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:58am<b>lukian</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 11:36pm<b>AsianxChris</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 9:27am

toxxickittyy's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

See all of toxxickittyy's badges

toxxickittyy's favorite FMLs

Today, I was fired from my job for breaking my company's tattoo policy. I have a small scar on my wrist that roughly resembles a heart. My boss insists that it's one of those white ink tattoos. No one will believe me. FML

#20534364
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41072) - you deserved it (2475)

On 03/07/2013 at 3:17am - work - by crap - United States

Today, my psychopathic ex-girlfriend spray-painted "Free Candy" on the side of my van, knowing damn well I have to park it in front of an elementary school on a daily basis to pick up my daughter. FML

#20532616
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44604) - you deserved it (4158)

On 03/05/2013 at 7:07pm - kids - by cjw - United States

Today, I had to help my little sister do a first-grade project for school. For one part, they have to draw a picture of their role model. She drew a whale, and I asked, "A whale is your role model?" She laughed and said, "No! It's you!" FML

#20532338
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38863) - you deserved it (5779)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:19pm - kids - by peace out - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's my best friend, we do this all the time." I have been dating him for over a year. FML

#20532334
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47795) - you deserved it (3989)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34688) - you deserved it (13276)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML

#20531724
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39652) - you deserved it (4739)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:08am - misc - by goodgrief (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I walked into what I thought would be a surprise birthday party. It wasn't. It was my parents staging an intervention over my cat obsession. FML

#20530955
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17964) - you deserved it (28773)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by DM - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

#20527203
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66763) - you deserved it (5810)

On 03/01/2013 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by sn-511 (man) - Italy (Campania)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38885) - you deserved it (7167)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, during a sleepover at my friend's house, I woke up in the middle of the night with a dire need to pee. As I walked in the dark to the bathroom, I saw a silhouette in a doorway and instictively screamed. Turns out it was my friend's sister's One Direction cutout. FML

#20525715
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27936) - you deserved it (4706)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:00pm - misc - by Neversleepingthereagain (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

#20525412
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35143) - you deserved it (2480)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States

Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML

#20525332
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17983) - you deserved it (37696)

On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

#20524792
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (4121)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML

#20524027
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29160) - you deserved it (4126)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:12am - animals - by thecatlady (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML

#20522936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39632) - you deserved it (4542)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:43am - love - by fuckedover - United States



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: