About toxxickittyy : WoW nerd to the max, but I do enjoy other games. I'm an achievement hunter.
toxxickittyy's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
toxxickittyy's favorite FMLs
by sabrinatarmine_ / 07/21/2013 at 10:35pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML
by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids
by unknown relationship / 06/28/2013 at 1:23am / United States (Illinois) / Work
Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML
by Gribby / 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm / United States (Missouri) / Animals
Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML
by Anonymous / 06/26/2013 at 1:51pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, whilst waiting tables at work, I served a young couple the milkshakes they had ordered. The woman at the next table verbally abused me for "teasing" her screaming sons with "unhealthy foods". FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 1:24am / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by myfavoritesgouda / 06/24/2013 at 1:20am / United States (New York) / Work
Today, my boyfriend threw out my old voicemail recorder, thinking it was junk. My father passed away years ago. I kept a recording of the last voicemail he'd left me on it so I'd always remember his voice. FML
by Upset / 06/10/2013 at 7:35pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML
by catcraze / 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/20/2013 at 4:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML
by Anonymous / 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML
by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 10:41am / United States (California) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/13/2013 at 9:47am / United States (California) / Work
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
by je_regrette_tout / 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm / Intimacy