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toxic_walrus

Offline (the 12/10/2014 at 4:38am) | Search for a member

toxic_walrus

17Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1710
  • Number of comments : 97
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About toxic_walrus : love the office and doctor who, aspiring special effects artist, and a sarcastic asshole. But a friendly sarcastic asshole :] Anyway, message me if you wanna, I love meeting people!

toxic_walrus's page activity

Visits<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 3:02pm<b>swagmaster696969</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 1:54pm<b>heffastera</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:57pm<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:02am<b>LifeIsFunny96</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 4:49pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 3:32pm<b>metalbass</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 9:54am<b>AfroCircusMan</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 1:22am<b>RangerKyle</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 11:55pm<b>Ausdank</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:53pm<b>Jillian369</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:41pm<b>illestprodigy777</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:41pm<b>FallenLyric</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 9:01pm<b>RMLrapemylife</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 7:28pm<b>King_Nero</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 7:22pm<b>Wilturd</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 7:11pm<b>Roythetickler</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 7:00pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 6:49pm

Liked!<b>S232Flash</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 9:32pm<b>YoursAlways98</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 9:49pm<b>robertd73</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:59am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 1:52pm<b>sheba72</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:37am<b>Hiktmae</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 6:40pm<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 4:06am<b>its3esa</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:02pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:56pm<b>Er_Ma_Gawd</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:39am<b>Sweet_Visions</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 4:24am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:55pm<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 3:19pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:13am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:34am<b>TheBuraaQ</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:05pm

toxic_walrus's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of toxic_walrus's badges

toxic_walrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I frantically told my parents that my bank account had no money. Turns out, they took the $1,600 I had saved up from a summer job and invested it in penny-stocks. I was grounded because they were "doing it for the family," and I'm being selfish. They also had lost it all in a matter of days. FML

#21306100
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38532) - you deserved it (2392)

On 11/26/2014 at 9:13am - money - by poor man - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my best friend's girlfriend for the first time. After a few hours of talking and eating, she followed me to the bathroom and said, dead serious, ''If you ever touch him or get too close to him, I will cut you''. I've known him for twelve years, they have been dating for a month. FML

#21305050
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37909) - you deserved it (2882)

On 11/24/2014 at 8:44am - love - by ohwell (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

#21304848
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32630) - you deserved it (2628)

On 11/23/2014 at 10:48pm - work - by justinmdent - United States (Missouri)

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

#21304446
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43276) - you deserved it (2596)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started to get horny while watching TV with my husband. I tried turning him on by telling him I wanted his cock. He cheerfully replied without looking away from the TV, "If only I gave a fuck, babe, if only I gave a fuck!" FML

#21304429
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36266) - you deserved it (4234)

On 11/23/2014 at 11:34am - intimacy - by 404: fuck not given (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32030) - you deserved it (15122)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

#21302935
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29182) - you deserved it (9380)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42622) - you deserved it (3170)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44022) - you deserved it (3846)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35897) - you deserved it (2898)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36979) - you deserved it (10789)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my wife got a new best-friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

#21283962
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37195) - you deserved it (3612)

On 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by max - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31511) - you deserved it (15636)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34486) - you deserved it (3453)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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