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toxic_walrus

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

toxic_walrus

15Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1517
  • Number of comments : 96
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About toxic_walrus : love the office and doctor who, aspiring special effects artist, and a sarcastic asshole. But a friendly sarcastic asshole :] Anyway, message me if you wanna, I love meeting people!

toxic_walrus's page activity

Visits<b>Murilirum</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 6:25am<b>Dmillz319</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:38am<b>niewiad</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 8:46am<b>awkwardology</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 7:32am<b>swharley</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:26am<b>minutepoet</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 2:12am<b>chipsahoyert</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:14am<b>robertd73</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:59am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 12:13am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 11:57pm<b>EATMEUP</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 11:30pm<b>raisinbam</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 10:26pm<b>RA91</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 9:22pm<b>Radioactive_Kiwi</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 9:00pm<b>brittanybear05</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 8:54pm<b>Branlamb</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 7:29pm<b>DoubleDosexo</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:37pm<b>Weemandarin</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 5:36pm

Liked!<b>robertd73</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 6:59am<b>tazmanmike2013</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 6:53pm<b>Drake_The_Dragon</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 1:52pm<b>sheba72</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 6:37am<b>Hiktmae</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 6:40pm<b>DropTheDaggerxx</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 4:06am<b>its3esa</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:02pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:56pm<b>Er_Ma_Gawd</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:39am<b>Sweet_Visions</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 4:24am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:55pm<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 3:19pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:13am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:34am<b>TheBuraaQ</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:05pm

toxic_walrus's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of toxic_walrus's badges

toxic_walrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26757) - you deserved it (12297)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, I dropped my trash into what I thought was a garbage can. My co-workers stared at me like I had just pissed myself. It was a toy collection box for children in foster care. FML

#21302935
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24248) - you deserved it (7618)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41372) - you deserved it (3149)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, like any other day since that stupid movie Frozen came out, people have been asking me if I want to build a snowman, like they're the funniest people on the planet. My name is Elsa. FML

#21297408
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42577) - you deserved it (3794)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:34pm - work - by elsatheannoyed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35472) - you deserved it (2702)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36169) - you deserved it (10560)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my wife got a new best-friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

#21283962
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37057) - you deserved it (3603)

On 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by max - United States (Florida)

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML

#21279207
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31481) - you deserved it (15616)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34447) - you deserved it (3448)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML

#21275111
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32342) - you deserved it (19044)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML

#21269654
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30074) - you deserved it (3817)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37246) - you deserved it (8344)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51440) - you deserved it (3572)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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