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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1333
  • Number of comments : 88
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About toxic_walrus : love the office and doctor who, aspiring special effects artist, and a sarcastic asshole. But a friendly sarcastic asshole :] Anyway, message me if you wanna, I love meeting people!

toxic_walrus's page activity

Visits<b>jamie_elocin</b> - yesterday at 8:19pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 11:07pm<b>its3esa</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:02pm<b>whenitdidhappen</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:05pm<b>Mustang19008</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:26pm<b>Corey122726</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:56pm<b>C00kiesNcream</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:25am<b>adamxxx2567</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 9:26am<b>Journiexo</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 8:07am<b>shjoh</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 7:37am<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 6:56am<b>pantherfan0877</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 5:26am<b>Zx_MaSsAcRe_xZ</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:55am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 4:13am<b>fanartje</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 3:34am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 2:08am<b>RodzillaX</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:16am<b>jagma</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 1:02am

Liked!<b>its3esa</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 10:02pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 10/17/2014 at 12:56pm<b>Er_Ma_Gawd</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 4:39am<b>Sweet_Visions</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 4:24am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 4:55pm<b>xcarlito615x</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 3:19pm<b>gary3768</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:13am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 3:34am<b>TheBuraaQ</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:05pm

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You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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toxic_walrus's favorite FMLs

Today, I was driving with my grandma and she was going 30 over the speed limit. To slow her down, I said, "Hey look, the police". She slammed on the brakes so hard I hit my head on the dashboard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27987) - you deserved it (13695)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:56pm - misc - by karmaaa - United States (Iowa)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30299) - you deserved it (3141)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30259) - you deserved it (17536)

On 10/10/2014 at 5:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister had her second son. She is 31 and she named her sons after her favorite television characters, Sam and Dean Winchester. She has made it her life goal to make sure her husband never finds out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29782) - you deserved it (3788)

On 10/02/2014 at 4:29pm - kids - by mykodu - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (8336)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking my dogs when a woman at a bus stop quite rudely exclaimed, "Keep those mutts away from my kid". I replied just as rudely that I wouldn't want them anywhere near her dirty sprog. It was then we both realised she was a customer that I regularly talk to at work. FML

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51374) - you deserved it (3569)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my brother decided to help me artificially age some of my artwork by singeing the edges slightly. Apparently "my brother set fire to my homework" isn't a valid excuse. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38473) - you deserved it (5700)

On 07/12/2014 at 12:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28805) - you deserved it (42131)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML


I agree, your life sucks (56278) - you deserved it (2995)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML


I agree, your life sucks (40669) - you deserved it (4424)

On 06/11/2014 at 8:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I babysat the brattiest and most foul-mouthed 8-year-old I've ever met. After I survived three hours of it, his parents finally came home. He claimed I'd invited a boy over and that we did "stuff" on the couch all evening. They believed him. I didn't get paid, to say the least. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52826) - you deserved it (3843)

On 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm - kids - by bastards (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML

Today, I told someone about my degree in technical theatre with a concentration in lighting design. They looked at me and said, "You're paid $52,000 a year to turn lights on and off?" And technically, that's correct. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42719) - you deserved it (11199)

On 06/01/2014 at 6:15pm - work - by ugh - United States (New Hampshire)

Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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