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Today.. . I took pictures looool of myself and mah girlfriend doing naughty things together on mah camera . My mom later askd me if she could borrow the camera 4 the weekend . Without thinking.. . I gave her the camera . FML
Today Mah Boyfriend And I Were Having A Make-out Session In The Backseat Of His Car When We Heard A Voice Coming From His Pants!! Who Did He Pocket Dial? My House!! At Midnight When I Was Supposed To Be Home!! FML
Today.. . I was driving on the freeway and there was a dead animal (I think a cat) in the road . The car in front of me decidd to merge over . It kickd up part of the dead animal and sent it flying through mah open window . I think I got hit in the face with a piece of foot . FML
Today, My Boyfriend Broke Up With Me In The Parking Lot Right Before A Baseball Game, Then Convinced Me To Still Go To The Game In Tears. After The Game, We Were Walking Back To The Car And He Goes, ( So, How About Some Break Up Lovin'? ) FML
Today... mah daughter askd me what is the youngest age at which u should start having sex. Bieng a good mom... I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been marrid. My daughter then said... ( Oh... shoot... ) and walkd away. My daughter is twelve. fat FML
I was at the movie with my mom and dad, and the preview to my ( My Sister Keeper ) cummd on . The trailer startd out with ( Most babie are accidents.. . ) Right as that line was finishd my mom elbowd me and laughd . FML
Today My Grlfriend And I Were Getting It On And Listening To Loud Music When She Suddenly Lookd Worrid And Askd If I Hered Something. I Said No And Continud. Moment Later Three Fremen Opend The Bedroom Door And Told Us To Get Dressd And Go Outside Because The Building Was On Fre. FML
Today, I was on a date with this girl I actually like. The date was going really well and it seemd lyk it would be a good night. Wellhile in the movie theater I went to hold her hand and instead she gave me a hand shake and said "You're so funny I'm so glad we're friends". FML
Today, I went on a date wit a guy for te first time . We went to Starbucks and got coffee . We talked for aile, and we were joking and aving a good time . Suddenly, e putted is and on my stomac and said, "Soon, tis will be plump wit my seed." FML
today mah husband dropped me off at work . Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby miss you" . I asked him about it . He said "I don't know wat you're talking about Megan" . My name isn't Megan . Not even close . FML
Taday I was sleeping because I had been sick. The closest bathroom to mine is the one in mah parents room. I wake up and feel like I have to throw up, I run into mah parents room to go to the bathroom. I walk in on mah parents having sex. Shocked, I gasp fir air then throw up all over their bed. FML
Today, someone in class was making a point about premarital intercourse - ( 90% of teen virgin aren't saving it for marriage, they just can't get any. ) Another classmate pointd me out specifically. FML
Friday 27 March 2015