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towny11

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towny11

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  • Number of visits : 168
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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towny11's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

#20413212
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13956) - you deserved it (69103)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22897) - you deserved it (5971)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74861) - you deserved it (8763)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32994) - you deserved it (3435)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my thirteen-year-old daughter tried to scratch the freckles off of her face. We ended up going to the hospital. FML

#20067114
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22169) - you deserved it (2214)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:47am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

#20012782
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29656) - you deserved it (16370)

On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56395) - you deserved it (10333)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

#19786918
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28165) - you deserved it (5470)

On 06/14/2012 at 12:28pm - love - by Sir Vom-a-lot (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33614) - you deserved it (3946)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML

#19663287
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33614) - you deserved it (3946)

On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
474 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47125) - you deserved it (4368)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I locked my keys in my car at a gas station. A man stopped to help me with a wire hanger. After about 20 min in the freezing weather, he was getting close to unlocking it when I looked over at the passenger door to see that it was unlocked. All the doors were unlocked but the driver's side. FML

#18632111
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8358) - you deserved it (34112)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:59am - misc - by GeriGeriBoBeri - United States

Today, my separation anxiety got so intense, I found myself smelling my boyfriend's pillow. FML

#18566755
148 comments

Today, my girlfriend dumped me. Her exact words used were "I like the idea of you, but I don't like you." I still don't know what that means. FML

#18260922
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29598) - you deserved it (3279)

On 11/16/2011 at 12:23am - love - by dharp7 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML

#13235832
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38454) - you deserved it (3009)

On 09/28/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Jake - United States (Wisconsin)



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