Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About touch_phobia : I am an introvert, my passion is animals, and I have a touch phobia. 2 ferrets, 2 dogs, 3 cats, 4 aquariums, I love school. I don't belong to any fandoms but I love Sweeney Todd and Slenderman . I am a computer nerd and code websites (fluent in HTML, CSS, JS, JQUERY, PHP, and I am learning MYSQL), and design graphics. Oh and yes I'm a vegetarian but I don't "preach" my beliefs to anyone who doesn't ask. If you eat meat I don't care, it's your choice.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML
Today, I thought my online boyfriend was calling me, so the first line I said was "Hey, Baby." His wife answered with, "This is Jenny. Who's this?" After speaking for thirty minutes, I found out he's married, fifty-eight, and has two kids. I'm seventeen. FML
Today, my wife thought it would be fun to bring in one of her girlfriends for a threesome. Because of the friend, I now know what my wife sounds like when she's having a REAL orgasm. Five years and two kids into our marriage. FML
Friday 29 August 2014