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totallybananas

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totallybananas

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totallybananastotallybananas
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 February 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1062
  • Number of comments : 117
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 21 posted

About totallybananas : I like to eat. I like to workout. I also like to poop.

Snap me :) henryzheng

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100 kick ass comments

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totallybananas's favorite FMLs

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42911) - you deserved it (6125)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I love her. She panicked and blurted out our S&M safeword. FML

#21152151
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46362) - you deserved it (6406)

On 05/26/2014 at 11:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after a long day at work, I was starving, so I stopped by the drive-through for something to eat. When I got home and hurriedly opened the bag, all I found inside was napkins. Thanks, McDonald's. FML

#21136073
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41887) - you deserved it (10059)

On 05/10/2014 at 9:34pm - work - by can't eat paper - United States

Today, the man sitting next to me on the train tried to sneak a dead cat into my bag while I was sleeping. FML

#21121912
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42468) - you deserved it (3538)

On 04/24/2014 at 4:52pm - animals - by now have a cat - United States (Illinois)

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

#21117573
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43409) - you deserved it (3151)

On 04/19/2014 at 10:39pm - work - by notmine (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

#21063366
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22872) - you deserved it (39597)

On 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, the boy who sits next to me in class accidentally dropped his sketch pad. It turns out he's really talented at drawing portraits. They're so good that I could recognize myself in all of them. FML

#21058436
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45095) - you deserved it (7026)

On 02/12/2014 at 8:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I made love. She stared at her One Direction poster the whole time. FML

#21046460
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52622) - you deserved it (11192)

On 01/31/2014 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by mylifesucks (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend of 6 years told me that since I've proven my loyalty and faithfully stuck by his side, he has no reason to ever consider marrying me, because "It's not like you're going anywhere, honey." He seems not to understand why I am upset by this. FML

#21037274
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48038) - you deserved it (5048)

On 01/23/2014 at 3:57pm - love - by heartbrokenhaley - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

#21019231
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56033) - you deserved it (6897)

On 01/06/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by innocent - Australia

Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML

#21018145
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44129) - you deserved it (8807)

On 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

#21018050
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40938) - you deserved it (5497)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:59pm - love - by stopstutteringforSiri - United States

Today, my dad is going through a midlife crisis. He now wants to be less like a dad and more like a "best friend" to me. This mainly involves him constantly texting me, sending me stuff on Snapchat, and saying stuff like "wicked cool", "bazinga", and "swag" every chance he gets. FML

#21014175
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43137) - you deserved it (4281)

On 01/02/2014 at 12:07pm - misc - by fuck off, dad (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML

#21011731
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41117) - you deserved it (4981)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:57pm - love - by thisisavirus.exe (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

#21011680
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34381) - you deserved it (9092)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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