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tophilis

Offline (the 02/03/2016 at 3:12pm) | Search for a member

tophilis

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 4986
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tophilis's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of tophilis's badges

tophilis's favorite FMLs

Today, I was starting to get freaky with my boyfriend when his dad came in with no warning to let the dog into my boyfriend's bedroom. His dad noticed what was going on and covered the dog's eyes instead of just leaving. FML

#21517614
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20506) - you deserved it (3224)

On 01/20/2016 at 11:41pm - intimacy - by Garfield - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my best friend is being sacked. He's also about to rent a new apartment which he won't be able to afford when he loses his job. I can't warn him or I'll breach confidentiality and lose my job as well. FML

#21511737
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25719) - you deserved it (1735)

On 01/05/2016 at 10:04am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I went for bloodwork. It's routine for me, so I was ready for the nurse to put in the needle and take my blood. It went in fine, but right after, she slowly pulled the needle out, then wondered why the blood stopped. She then moved it back and forth in my arm while I panicked silently. FML

#21511628
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20683) - you deserved it (1382)

On 01/05/2016 at 12:17am - health - by bloodless - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad sat me and my sister down and give us a "talk". More like an angry irrational rant. He forbade us from being gay, marrying a Muslim or a black person, demanded kids from both of us, and threatened to disown us if we didn't. Where's my free will? FML

#21511511
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22368) - you deserved it (2013)

On 01/04/2016 at 7:21pm - misc - by this is impossible (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, this beautiful girl that I've known for a long time told me that she just can't date me anymore because I remind her too much of her cat. FML

#21511346
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20691) - you deserved it (1758)

On 01/04/2016 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was listening to music on my phone and reading posts on here. I laughed hysterically at one, then noticed my parents shooting me outraged looks. Turned out I laughed while a news reporter was talking about a brutal rape that just happened in our city. FML

#21505195
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22488) - you deserved it (2988)

On 12/18/2015 at 3:46pm - misc - by for the whored (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hanging out with a guy for the second time, and he was helping me buy a Christmas present for my dad. I excused myself to go to the bathroom, and when I came out, he was gone. He left me alone and took my dad's present with him. FML

#21504771
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21766) - you deserved it (2103)

On 12/17/2015 at 10:54am - love - by cjbutterfly96 - United States

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

#21504691
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24581) - you deserved it (2119)

On 12/17/2015 at 4:10am - intimacy - by NotSoComfortable (man) - Italy (Veneto)

Today, I was at an amusement park with friends. We wanted to get a picture of all four of us, so we asked a nice-looking man to take it for us on my brand-new iPhone 6s. He took something. Unfortunately, it wasn't a picture. FML

#21504603
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (7043)

On 12/16/2015 at 9:47pm - misc - by phone-less - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent half an hour trying to convince my husband not to re-enact a video he saw online of a guy tying some rope to a running chainsaw, then swinging it around his head. He finally agreed not to do something so stupid. A few hours later, he did it anyway. FML

#21497413
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23080) - you deserved it (2466)

On 11/27/2015 at 7:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on the bus home from work when I felt something strange in my hair. I turned to look, and saw the old woman next to me sucking on the end of my hair. When she noticed me staring, she didn't stop but instead said, "So pretty. Can I have?" FML

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

#21492751
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21102) - you deserved it (2543)

On 11/15/2015 at 10:21am - kids - by michelle (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I realized when I'm on my phone, I tend to play with my penis, even in public. FML

#21492545
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14124) - you deserved it (25891)

On 11/14/2015 at 5:08pm - intimacy - by BashyDaBest - United States (California)

Today, I had the mother of a five year old come in for parent teacher conferences. When I told her that her son was very smart, but he often made up fantastical stories about his home life, she burst into tears. She then ran out of my office crying, "I knew it! I knew he was a sociopath!" FML

#21491960
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23933) - you deserved it (1588)

On 11/13/2015 at 2:06am - work - by nothowscienceworks - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

#21491812
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26140) - you deserved it (3586)

On 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - Netherlands



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