Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

toowie

Offline (yesterday at 10:12am) | Search for a member

toowie

36Fucked!

toowietoowie
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 April 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1086
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About toowie : :) small town girl, who reads fml when boredom strikes .

toowie's page activity

Visits<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 12:56am<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 7:14am<b>zjay</b> - the 08/25/2015 at 2:01am<b>Mons</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 2:00pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 9:07pm<b>NotNeeded</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 6:55pm<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 8:05am<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 5:16am<b>Sebastian2022</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 9:20pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 2:23pm<b>RA91</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 12:05am<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 3:39pm<b>PrincessKenny</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:45am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 7:49am<b>eleanorrigby90</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 10:32am<b>ijulez</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 1:11pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 10:56am<b>43bubba34</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 8:37am

Fucked!<b>lonelysquid93</b> - the 08/04/2015 at 6:14pm<b>swarm20</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 11:24pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 08/02/2015 at 2:53pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 1:38am<b>rockwrench</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 10:23pm<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 9:00pm<b>Psychotique</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 7:53pm<b>Wondermaid68</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 6:50pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 3:16pm<b>Mmorpheus</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 2:42pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 2:35pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 12:32pm<b>MrThump</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 11:59am<b>ale1139</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 10:56am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 4:37pm<b>RealSuperSand</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:16pm<b>Jake42100</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 11:59am<b>mzcupcakez</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 1:34pm

toowie's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of toowie's badges

toowie's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat on the bus for 3 hours stuck in traffic trying to ignore the old lady sitting next to me discreetly masturbating. FML

Today, my teenage daughter asked me to buy her the morning after pill, saying "It's for my acne." FML

#21270394
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36037) - you deserved it (4243)

On 10/03/2014 at 11:08pm - health - by Disappointed -

Today, a customer told me that there was no way he was paying for his shopping. He then walked off. As it turns out, the customer IS always right. FML

#21259221
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34128) - you deserved it (3086)

On 09/16/2014 at 1:04am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML

#21255435
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35570) - you deserved it (4790)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:38pm - love - by Itchy Missy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

#21249060
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37147) - you deserved it (3634)

On 08/31/2014 at 1:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

#21244619
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33509) - you deserved it (6090)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:08pm - animals - by notmyrealname123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

#21225823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36746) - you deserved it (4084)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71173) - you deserved it (5621)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30369) - you deserved it (44287)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up again to a warm trickling sensation on my neck. It would seem my rabbit has a thing for doing his business on me to wake me up. FML

#21103637
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36893) - you deserved it (7099)

On 04/03/2014 at 12:36pm - animals - by Cali girl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML

#21043075
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43278) - you deserved it (4042)

On 01/28/2014 at 2:43pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

#20000823
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29262) - you deserved it (1737)

On 08/03/2012 at 6:50pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: