Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

toowie

Online | Search for a member

toowie

7Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 15 April 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 626
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About toowie : :) small town girl, who reads fml when boredom strikes .

toowie's page activity

Visits<b>XPhoenixFire</b> - 4 minutes ago<b>andrewhoyt</b> - 39 minutes ago<b>DrWonders29</b> - 2 hours ago<b>GrinchFu1</b> - 3 hours ago<b>buckdharma</b> - 3 hours ago<b>maxface</b> - 17 hours ago<b>cinskeep43</b> - yesterday at 3:30pm<b>daveyyyyh</b> - yesterday at 11:58am<b>totallybananas</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 2:13pm<b>_Krypto_</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 7:49pm<b>baseballbv</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 11:33am<b>pred8885</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 9:05am<b>AdolphHipster</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:01am<b>snowaholicmxz</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 10:41pm<b>sabian4life</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 9:23pm<b>patd77</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 6:42pm<b>Crossing</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 6:04pm<b>ComoEsJuan</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:49pm

Liked!<b>GrinchFu1</b> - just now<b>christofferkamal</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 3:39pm<b>ThanksGenetics</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 5:00am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 2:26am<b>FutureMatty</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 11:57pm<b>gogators941</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 10:58pm<b>zachali21</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:42pm

toowie's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of toowie's badges

toowie's favorite FMLs

Today, I was checking out of a hotel when I saw some complementary mints. They weren't mints. They were glass beads. FML

#21258904
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3016) - you deserved it (966)

On 09/15/2014 at 5:39pm - misc - by Wingman527 - United States (California)

Today, I got more pleasure from itching the bed bug bites from sleeping over at my boyfriend's house than I got from actually sleeping with him. FML

#21255435
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33335) - you deserved it (4633)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:38pm - love - by Itchy Missy (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out I sent several embarrassing videos while under the influence of the meds I was given while getting my wisdom teeth out. When I asked my mom why she didn't take my phone, she said she tried but I started whining and growling at her. FML

Today, I was hiking down a steep hill, and I slipped. I instinctively grabbed the nearest object to me: a very prickly cactus. FML

#21249060
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34378) - you deserved it (3134)

On 08/31/2014 at 1:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found my cat downstairs with a squirrel dangling from his mouth. When I saw this, I yelled at my cat to put it down. He did. Turns out the squirrel was still alive and run. I had to spend the next three hours chasing it out of my house. FML

#21244619
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30773) - you deserved it (5436)

On 08/24/2014 at 8:08pm - animals - by notmyrealname123 (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

#21225823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36418) - you deserved it (4059)

On 07/31/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66752) - you deserved it (4880)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

#21194154
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28774) - you deserved it (42099)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:39pm - kids - by BaWanda (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up again to a warm trickling sensation on my neck. It would seem my rabbit has a thing for doing his business on me to wake me up. FML

#21103637
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35517) - you deserved it (6919)

On 04/03/2014 at 12:36pm - animals - by Cali girl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after months of random vomiting with no apparent cause, I finally got some tests done. The doctor says there's nothing wrong with me and that it's all just in my head. Great. FML

#21043075
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40834) - you deserved it (3808)

On 01/28/2014 at 2:43pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had the crap beaten out of me by a woman in the street, who accused me of sleeping with her husband. I still don't know who she or her husband are, and I'm still a virgin. FML

#20000823
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26361) - you deserved it (1516)

On 08/03/2012 at 6:50pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Tabasco)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: