Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tootsie68

Online | Search for a member

tootsie68

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 April 1994 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3243
  • Number of comments : 52
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About tootsie68 : Hello there! Thank you for creepily stalking me. You may go along your way now...

tootsie68's page activity

Visits<b>noah_1234</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 2:38am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:04am<b>C7</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 8:59pm<b>iRuinStuff</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:49am<b>cinncity</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 2:38pm<b>Role448</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 6:31pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 4:50pm<b>ThatOneGuy719</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 3:16am<b>reyelisaia</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:37pm<b>3molliver3</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 7:06am<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 2:19pm<b>andyhitts25</b> - the 01/11/2014 at 1:49am<b>Cristian89</b> - the 12/20/2013 at 6:24pm<b>Empyree</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 4:07pm<b>BeccaBoo2010</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 5:45pm<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/08/2013 at 8:21pm<b>A07</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 1:07pm<b>Amberm13357</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 9:03am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 2:39pm

tootsie68's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of tootsie68's badges

tootsie68's favorite FMLs

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

#8883543
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9337) - you deserved it (37344)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:41am - health - by fatlady - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

#8875479
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27911) - you deserved it (4376)

On 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

#8608911
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9043) - you deserved it (64085)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States

Today, my grandmother decided to tell me about her past as a prostitute. In full detail. FML

#8365042
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25713) - you deserved it (2580)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:40am - intimacy - by thatssickkk - United States (California)

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12552) - you deserved it (56397)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML

#7563904
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35280) - you deserved it (4811)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:47am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML

#7420693
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54614) - you deserved it (8451)

On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I made a fake MySpace so that I could flirt with my boyfriend and see what he would do. He ended up dumping me for the fake MySpace girl. FML

#7304615
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16376) - you deserved it (49358)

On 01/12/2010 at 7:03pm - love - by BetterThanFake (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

#7304423
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37362) - you deserved it (3184)

On 01/12/2010 at 6:54pm - intimacy - by notasgood (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML

#7239167
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37476) - you deserved it (7380)

On 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my mom and dad. It wasn't my dad. FML

#6970974
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32201) - you deserved it (2748)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML

#6753136
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41321) - you deserved it (2584)

On 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm - misc - by Ghost (man) - United States

Today, I let my boyfriend finger me for the first time. Today, I also learned, after fifteen very, very long minutes of it, how to fake an orgasm. FML

#6731473
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27572) - you deserved it (5938)

On 12/13/2009 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom admitted that her story about my dad leaving us for his current wife was a lie. He left when he caught her with a coworker. She blocked his number and got a restraining order to keep him from telling his side of the story. I haven't talked to my dad for six years because of this. FML

#6590388
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52509) - you deserved it (2328)

On 12/03/2009 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: