About tootsie68 : Hello there! Thank you for creepily stalking me. You may go along your way now...
tootsie68's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
tootsie68's favorite FMLs
by Nancy / 03/10/2010 at 1:42pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 03/09/2010 at 1:43am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML
by fatlady / 03/07/2010 at 12:41am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/06/2010 at 7:32pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
Today, my throat is really swollen so I can only drink liquid. I noticed home-made ice-lollies in the freezer and had one. It tasted funny. Turns out my little brother had peed in one of those ice-lolly box and put it in the freezer. FML
by icegirl38 / 03/03/2010 at 10:09am / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Health
Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML
by janesays / 02/24/2010 at 2:45am / United States / Kids
by thatssickkk / 02/17/2010 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/29/2010 at 2:25am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend kept trying to convince me to do anal with him. After denying him several times he told me "Why it feels good, trust me." I asked him how would he know. There was a long awkward silence when he then replied with "I'm not gay I swear." FML
by Anonymous / 01/25/2010 at 3:47am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
by Jon / 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by BetterThanFake / 01/12/2010 at 7:03pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by notasgood / 01/12/2010 at 6:54pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/09/2010 at 4:26pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/27/2009 at 7:49am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML
by Ghost / 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, at work, I was yelled at by a mom for putting gravy on her daughter's mashed potatoes, even… Today, a bug flew into my eye. Two hours later I picked "sleep" out of my eye. It was all black and… Today, I took my girlfriend out to a fancy restaurant. It was going all fine until we noticed that…