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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3014
  • Number of comments : 30
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 78 posted

About toothache : Been in the FML game since '09

toothache's page activity

Visits<b>refticon</b> - the 04/07/2016 at 6:04pm<b>tuxedoandex</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 12:23am<b>marcusterry</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 1:46pm<b>battlehamster</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 2:20pm<b>straww</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 3:12am<b>snowmansteel</b> - the 01/16/2014 at 4:07pm<b>horseychickidee</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 2:16pm<b>B4rn3yST1NSON</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 6:43am<b>ezi</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 1:38pm<b>Energokinetic</b> - the 08/09/2010 at 4:32am<b>zackbjj1</b> - the 08/07/2010 at 3:20am<b>GreenDayRHCP</b> - the 08/06/2010 at 1:38pm<b>Homeless_Panda</b> - the 08/06/2010 at 4:20am<b>Freeze</b> - the 07/17/2010 at 2:49pm<b>danza</b> - the 07/17/2010 at 1:12am<b>harderbaby</b> - the 07/16/2010 at 7:19am<b>timethyfx</b> - the 07/16/2010 at 6:57am

Fucked!<b>refticon</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 12:04am

toothache's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

toothache's favorite FMLs

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

by caught / 01/08/2012 at 7:43pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally moaned my own name during sex. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 1:43am / United States / Intimacy

Today, as an important meeting with clients was drawing to a close, we all stood up and they bid their farewells. My response was to blurt out, "Hello!" FML

by Anonymous / 01/03/2012 at 10:30pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

by ericane27 / 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2011 at 4:41pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend insisted that the dog stay in our bedroom while we had sex. He said it would prove his dominance, and "show the dog who's boss." My boyfriend needs to prove his self-worth to an animal. FML

by HBC / 12/10/2011 at 2:23am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

by Sam / 12/03/2011 at 5:03am / United States / Transportation

Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML

by gtfb1993 / 12/02/2011 at 5:21pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

by Dani / 11/28/2011 at 7:34am / Reserved / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

by Person15 / 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

by toomuch / 11/22/2011 at 4:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

by shootme / 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 4:52pm / United States / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. The lights kept on going on and off. Why? The lights are activated by "clap on, clap off." It killed the mood. FML

by KayleeXLoVe21 / 11/03/2011 at 7:48pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML

by bakedplum / 11/01/2011 at 1:52pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous