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toorudett's favorite FMLs
Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. When I stood up, I noticed a little button on the side. I pressed it and the toilet flushed. I've worked there for nine months and just found out today that our toilets don't flush automatically. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 10:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Work
by UnhappilyUnemployed / 06/16/2014 at 6:49pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by FirstDaddy / 06/16/2014 at 5:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
by FMeeee / 06/16/2014 at 2:50pm / Portugal (Aveiro) / Miscellaneous
Today, my laziness reached an all-time high. I had a dream that I was at school and had spilled all the contents of my backpack onto the floor. I then purposely shook myself out of my sleep to avoid cleaning up the mess in my dream. FML
by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 12:33pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by IneedMaury / 06/16/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 06/16/2014 at 11:24am / Germany / Intimacy
Today, in a last ditch attempt to get away from my psycho coworker, I made my boss transfer me to another branch in the district. My coworker was immediately moved to that branch, because we "work well together". FML
by Godhelpme / 06/15/2014 at 10:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML
by caleighrossi / 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, I went to a Father's Day lunch with my dad and his fiancée. He suddenly began to describe, in detail, the vasectomy he'd just had, and that I shouldn't be expecting any new siblings any time soon. Thanks for the mental image, Dad. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2014 at 5:29pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2014 at 3:22pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
Today, my brother got pantsed by his idiot friends. It was a surprise to everyone that he was wearing women's underwear at the time, but even more of a surprise for me that the underwear belonged to me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/15/2014 at 2:01pm / United States (California) / Kids
by ToddlersWife / 06/15/2014 at 7:10am / United Kingdom (Reading) / Love
by mydatinglifesucks / 06/15/2014 at 2:31am / United States / Love
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…