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tonyrules

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tonyrules
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  • Number of visits : 35
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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tonyrules's favorite FMLs

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46953) - you deserved it (9564)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22397) - you deserved it (3265)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while attempting the Italian Chandelier with my girlfriend, I heard a popping noise, and then had a sharp pain in my dick. Turns out I "broke" it. Instead of calling 911 immediately, my girlfriend remarked how my now black and blue penis looked like a Smurf. FML

#20003323
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21125) - you deserved it (5060)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I visited the doctor. I had food poisoning last week, which led to diarrhea. The diarrhea was so bad it caused a hemorrhoid. The hemorrhoid somehow became infected. One bad sandwich, and now I have an infected asshole. FML

#19063795
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26571) - you deserved it (1603)

On 02/13/2012 at 7:03am - health - by loveinanelevator (man) -

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28176) - you deserved it (5005)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (2048)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30736) - you deserved it (4684)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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