tonyfan00

Search for a member

Offline (yesterday at 4:40am)

tonyfan00

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5201
  • Number of comments : 224
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 36 posted

About tonyfan00 : I'm too lazy to put anything here of better quality.
(Picture is of my four year old dog Max.)

tonyfan00's page activity

Visits<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 10:20am<b>dimerneckel</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 1:05pm<b>courtney6996</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 7:09am<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 08/01/2016 at 3:31pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 6:27pm<b>elysa</b> - the 07/07/2016 at 11:10pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 12:15am<b>Allornone</b> - the 05/07/2016 at 5:53am<b>kAPISH</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 6:25am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2016 at 9:25am<b>sabby7</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 1:10pm<b>BlondBombShll88</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 11:22pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:33pm<b>Bravewolf</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 8:30am<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 9:10pm<b>Brandi_Faith</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:50pm<b>letsflytospace69</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 4:44pm<b>evilscorpi</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 3:28pm

Fucked!<b>DrafteeSelf</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 4:20pm<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 12:27am<b>evilscorpi</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 9:28pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 2:44am<b>chocolate_toast</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 8:21pm

tonyfan00's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of tonyfan00's badges

tonyfan00's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm working an 8-hour shift on less than 3 hours of sleep. In order to stay awake, I chugged 3 Red Bulls. Now I can't feel my face. FML

Today, my uncle asked me to act as a bodyguard in a video he was making. I put on the shades and suit while he was saying his message to the camera. I was laughing so hard internally that I ended up farting so loud throughout the entire video. We had to shoot the video five times. FML

by Anonymous / 08/09/2016 at 4:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my first job interview. I didn't think I was doing too badly, until the interviewer said, "Wait a second, you're in high school?" I explained that the guy who'd called me had said that this wouldn't be a problem. I then watched as my interviewer left his desk to "deal" with him. FML

by DeepFriedZombie / 08/08/2016 at 8:18pm / Work

Today, I woke up to an angry and threatening email from a porn company. Apparently, I took a sleeping pill last night and wrote a nasty email to the company about how they mistreat women. The best part: I used a web contact form instead of an email, so I have absolutely no idea what I wrote. FML

by damn you Ambien / 08/03/2016 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while taking out a jar of mayonnaise, it slipped from my hand, landing on its lid, exploding, and covering both of my dogs from head to tail in it. Terrified, they fled, leaving a trail of globs of mayo. After cleaning both dogs and the house, they both threw up from eating too much mayonnaise. FML

by Jay703 / 08/02/2016 at 10:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was playing a game with my family where we had to say the name of an actor/actress that started with a certain letter. When I said mine, my dad grounded me because he knew it was a pornstar. Now my mom is mad at my dad for watching porn too. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2016 at 2:10pm / Intimacy

Today, my first day on the job, I locked up the office after everyone left and set the alarm. An hour later, my new boss angrily emailed me that I locked him inside the building, setting off the alarm and prompting the entire police department to show up. FML

by mrsimintrouble / 07/29/2016 at 2:01am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I ran into an old couple everyone has been avoiding in my small town. Four weeks ago, they accidentally posted a picture of their pierced junk on Facebook, and I was one of the unlucky people who saw the actual picture. I can't make eye contact with them anymore. FML

by ReayHorse / 07/28/2016 at 12:02pm / Miscellaneous

Today, despite my best efforts to keep my new apartment clean and weeks of denying the complex has a bug problem, I came face to face with a roach in my cupboard. I swear the little bastard waved at me. FML

by jettison17 / 07/28/2016 at 2:41am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out all the "work meetings" my husband has been going to wasn't him having an affair after all, but him attending a neo-Nazi group. FML

by Anonymous / 07/27/2016 at 10:10am / Love

Today, my family, grandma included, took some time to discuss whether or not olive oil is a suitable substitute for lube. FML

by Uh_Oh_Bro / 07/24/2016 at 1:58pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, what was meant to be a fun hour-long paddle with a friend turned into a 5 hour ordeal involving a coast guard helicopter, an ambulance, a hospital visit and a ruined canoe. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 6:02pm / Health

Today, my dad didn't mention he had just aired up the tire on my van and that it might have a hole in it. It wasn't flat when I left the house but it sure as hell was when it exploded, not even a mile down the road. FML

by ThanksForTheWarningDad / 07/22/2016 at 7:09am / United States (Nebraska) / Transportation

Today, a customer complained that her salad had "too much lettuce." Her bowl was less than half-filled with lettuce and the rest was cheese. FML

by TheFriskyBadger / 07/12/2016 at 7:57pm / Work

Today, I was trying to get a good night's sleep before the huge exam tomorrow, which I'm extremely anxious about. The SAME night my neighbor below me is having a home birth. It lasted NINE HOURS. FML

by katiebug / 07/11/2016 at 10:27pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek