Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 10/03/2015 at 4:44am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 16 September 1981 (34 years)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 4358
  • Number of comments : 558
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About tony1891 : Nos morituri te salutant

tony1891's page activity

Visits<b>Sonotsuave</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 10:23pm<b>shabadabba</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 2:27pm<b>bruhwhy</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 8:20pm<b>demix</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:33pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:24pm<b>0x48656C6C6F</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 11:05am<b>Arieslink</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 10:15pm<b>jafar_22</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 9:56pm<b>helloimclaudia</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 7:10pm<b>SPN_lover666</b> - the 12/30/2015 at 10:07pm<b>Foster678</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 1:19pm<b>Jkalia</b> - the 12/15/2015 at 9:55am<b>IceBerge</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 9:52pm<b>Meriwether</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 12:26am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 8:55am<b>l4urenz</b> - the 12/07/2015 at 11:25am<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 12/05/2015 at 2:19pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 12/01/2015 at 7:29pm

Fucked!<b>bruhwhy</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 2:20am<b>TheGamingGamer</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 2:56pm<b>nityasomaiya</b> - the 10/31/2015 at 10:25am<b>rockinav</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:55pm<b>NigsLemington</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 10:16am<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 2:19am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 3:15pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:00am<b>cgowe4</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 5:39am<b>ItsStratos</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:00pm<b>CAC_Boomerang</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 12:58pm<b>TheMalygos</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 11:16am<b>kirbs19</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 9:19am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 6:17am<b>derp_taco</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 12:24am<b>devildog562</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:36pm<b>KaylaRox1908</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 5:14am<b>findoutmoore</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 7:32am

tony1891's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of tony1891's badges

tony1891's favorite FMLs

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34353) - you deserved it (3055)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that I ran out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29610) - you deserved it (6589)

On 11/20/2014 at 6:32am - health - by LemonTree (man) - Hungary

Today, a customer said the pants she was buying rang up more than advertised. I quietly told her plus-sizes were not on sale. The customer yelled in front of a whole line of people, "So I'm fat and can't read! Any other insults you'd like to throw at me?" and stormed out of the store. FML


Today, I was stopped behind a pickup truck filled with junk. I told my friend that the person should have secured the junk better, since it looked like it would fall off any minute. My friend assured me it wouldn't. Right after she said that, a large piece of plywood fell off and hit my windshield. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (3425)

On 11/16/2014 at 11:17pm - misc - by pickuptruckblues - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my cat tunneled her way under the covers to sleep beside me. It was really cute until she panicked in the middle of the night and practically skinned me alive trying to find her way out. FML

Today, I had a dream where I was cuddling with a girl. She rolled over to face me, snuggled up into the crook of my neck, then muttered in disgust, "Ugh, your breath stinks!" Cock-blocked in my own dreams. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34110) - you deserved it (4400)

On 11/11/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by mouthwash - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was so lonely, I caught myself whispering to my food just so I had someone to talk to. FML

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45588) - you deserved it (4531)

On 11/10/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by SisterOfTard (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, like usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33388) - you deserved it (6932)

On 11/09/2014 at 8:12pm - animals - by dogdays (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43770) - you deserved it (4018)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at my friend's Bar Mitzvah. After he finished his long-winded speech, I sarcastically did the mockingjay sign from the Hunger Games. It took a couple of seconds before I realized how that looked, and a couple more for me to be shouted down and kicked out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (17971) - you deserved it (33038)

On 11/08/2014 at 12:24pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33743) - you deserved it (2619)

On 11/07/2014 at 10:51am - misc - by NoToBombs - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I confronted my boyfriend after I found him cheating on me with my best friend. It ended up with me apologising for spying on him. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36757) - you deserved it (17797)

On 11/07/2014 at 7:28am - love - by Turnaround (woman) -

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36220) - you deserved it (3683)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend became a magician. His best trick? The disappearing act. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33256) - you deserved it (3858)

On 11/05/2014 at 8:11pm - love - by highheelcyanide (woman) - United States (California)

Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: