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tonijulie

Offline (the 09/14/2014 at 1:52pm) | Search for a member

tonijulie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1004
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About tonijulie : Toni Vendero
From Tamaki Makaurau, Aotearoa
Loving life in Melbourne, Australia :)))
I believe it when I see it type of person.
Mummy to one, to the coolest kid on the planet ;)
FML is pretty much as far as I go in terms of social media.

tonijulie's page activity

Visits<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm<b>blackheart96</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:15am<b>bdobbs1</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 10:24am<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 3:08am<b>nineteen99</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:14pm<b>NotR3ddy</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 9:44am<b>adrianh1090</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 2:49am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:35pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 12:59am<b>shabbir87</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Paradoxxxx</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:07am<b>runnerj116</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 10:53pm<b>capslockisgood</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 7:08pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 3:17am<b>shellykjelly</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 8:41pm<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 6:39pm<b>bkeljda</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 4:27am<b>Claytonioo</b> - the 09/02/2013 at 11:32pm

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tonijulie's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

#5828114
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87531) - you deserved it (14632)

On 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a bar and very drunk. I went to the urinal and when I was done I went to zip up when I realized I never unzipped. FML

#5760830
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10178) - you deserved it (55006)

On 10/10/2009 at 4:45pm - misc - by loser - Sent from mobile version

Today, my little sister was playing with her building blocks. All of a sudden, she began to cry and held her finger out to me. Assuming she had hurt it, I kissed it better, and tasted something odd on my lips. Turns out she wasn't hurt, she was crying because she had touched cat vomit. FML

#5714367
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31275) - you deserved it (8003)

On 10/07/2009 at 11:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I pulled someone over for speeding. He was only 10 over the speed limit so I gave him an $84 fine. It turns out he is a workplace Occupational Health and Safety officer and because I wasn't wearing my high visibilty vest while standing on the side of the road he gave me a $250 fine. FML

#5309221
374 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22357) - you deserved it (77922)

On 09/17/2009 at 6:57am - work - by auscop (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was at the bar and my friend and I were making fun of this guy wearing a Affliction muscle tee and bedazzled Ed Hardy hat. We were saying how he was the epitome of a douche bag and that he probably likes UFC. Turns out he's an MMA fighter and I now have a broken nose. FML

#4827023
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8830) - you deserved it (59792)

On 08/26/2009 at 12:40am - misc - by brokennose (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house while his plumbing was being redone. I really had to pee, but the toilet wasn't working, so I peed in his cat's litterbox. His cat got defensive, and started attacking me while I peed. My boyfriend walked in and saw the whole thing. FML

#4639027
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14198) - you deserved it (64758)

On 08/18/2009 at 9:13pm - love - by litterbox_girl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

#4523157
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57740) - you deserved it (4810)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I fractured my knuckle at the gym. My girlfriend offered to drive me to Urgent Care. As I threw my gym bag in the car, my keys flew out of the bag's pocket and hit her in the face. I spent the whole afternoon getting dirty looks from nurses because of my broken hand and her black eye. FML

#4523157
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57740) - you deserved it (4810)

On 08/14/2009 at 10:26am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

#4501918
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44402) - you deserved it (11906)

On 08/13/2009 at 2:17pm - misc - by fearofzombies (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that I was adopted, now my gay brother thinks it's acceptable to tell me that he's always wanted to have sex with me. FML

#4488799
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97735) - you deserved it (4795)

On 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm - intimacy - by JPF (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend was complaining of a scorpion sting on his leg. I told him to stop whining and get over it. Later, as I went to sleep, I felt a sharp pain in my arm. As I flipped on the light, I saw a scorpion crawling over the blankets. Now my entire arm is numb and I can't stop crying. FML

#4438831
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9241) - you deserved it (94770)

On 08/10/2009 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as my son carried the cage with live food for his pet lizards up the stairs, I heard the sound of 2,500 baby crickets escaping. FML

#4239314
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46260) - you deserved it (5882)

On 08/02/2009 at 9:29pm - animals - by cricketeer (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

#4089919
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14210) - you deserved it (40264)

On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was mowing lawns for my summer job. I noticed next to me a shiny new corvette being washed by the owner. I gave a friendly wave, just as I heard a big clank as the mower blade shot a rock into the side of the car. FML

#4046446
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45873) - you deserved it (4571)

On 07/26/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by ferrin10 - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was going to hang out with the girl I like, because she was leaving for the rest of the Summer. She had to cancel to go shopping with her grandma "all day." At 1 o'clock, she came online and told me how much fun she had with this guy I really don't like. She forgot that she lied to me. FML

#4020184
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49162) - you deserved it (3194)

On 07/25/2009 at 12:17am - love - by Jake (man) - United States (Florida)



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