Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tonijulie

Offline (the 10/17/2014 at 10:48am) | Search for a member

tonijulie

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1112
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About tonijulie : Toni Vendero
From Tamaki Makaurau, Aotearoa
Loving life in Melbourne, Australia :)))
I believe it when I see it type of person.
Mummy to one, to the coolest kid on the planet ;)
FML is pretty much as far as I go in terms of social media.

tonijulie's page activity

Visits<b>supertacowaffle</b> - yesterday at 11:38am<b>thenotsoflyguy</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 5:52pm<b>nathansmith1211</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 10:54pm<b>blackheart96</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 2:15am<b>bdobbs1</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 10:24am<b>the1pumpCHUMP</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 3:08am<b>nineteen99</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 6:14pm<b>NotR3ddy</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 9:44am<b>adrianh1090</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 2:49am<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 8:35pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 12:59am<b>shabbir87</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 11:57pm<b>Paradoxxxx</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 5:07am<b>runnerj116</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 10:53pm<b>capslockisgood</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 7:08pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 3:17am<b>shellykjelly</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 8:41pm<b>mazdatuner09</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 6:39pm

tonijulie's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of tonijulie's badges

tonijulie's favorite FMLs

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

#16367949
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7768) - you deserved it (49280)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - love - by Derp-A-Herp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

#15598918
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33447) - you deserved it (45110)

On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

#15583575
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25170) - you deserved it (32234)

On 04/01/2011 at 12:32am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I brought home a ukulele I had just bought. Excited, I showed my dad. He then looked at me, smirked, and said "Just like everything else you have, it's a bit smaller than normal." FML

#15024724
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30880) - you deserved it (5075)

On 02/18/2011 at 2:55am - misc - by Austyn -

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job. As I reached my climax, she thought it would be funny to turn my 'weapon' against me. Boom, headshot. FML

#14610613
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40745) - you deserved it (26828) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 4:53am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML

#14090266
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5545) - you deserved it (59170)

On 12/05/2010 at 12:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned that the cute pet name my boyfriend has been calling me for the past month is actually an acronym for "pain in the a**". FML

#14085005
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23151) - you deserved it (5845)

On 12/04/2010 at 3:35pm - love - by Pita (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

#14058992
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34286) - you deserved it (9472)

On 12/02/2010 at 10:54am - intimacy - by sissydlk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was texting my trainer to rearrange our training session. My girlfriend texted me during the exchange, asking what I wanted for Christmas. I accidentally texted my trainer, "All I want are your sweet titties in my face". I'm awaiting a response. FML

#14000546
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14432) - you deserved it (38576)

On 11/27/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend announced he has stopped wearing deodorant because he thinks his BO smells "manly." FML

#13991584
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27561) - you deserved it (2841)

On 11/26/2010 at 9:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML

#13432324
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35793) - you deserved it (20904)

On 10/13/2010 at 9:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Asturias)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30900) - you deserved it (3345)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

#11944390
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14607) - you deserved it (54648)

On 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm - intimacy - by reckless (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were messing around. When he slipped his hand down my pants, he scratched my pubic hair and said "scruffy, scruffy, scruffy." FML

#11513456
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30693) - you deserved it (33754)

On 06/28/2010 at 4:12am - intimacy - by megaladon - United States (California)

Today, after spending the evening with friends, I went home and realized that the living room light was on. Thinking someone was robbing me, I hid behind a bush. I got impatient and crept up to the door. Then I remembered that I'd left the light on before I left. FML

#11166091
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7170) - you deserved it (42551)

On 06/13/2010 at 9:16am - misc - by jonjon (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: