About tompou6 : I'm a sailing instructor during the summer and I'm a Primary Care Paramedic student. Msg me if you want to talk.
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tompou6's favorite FMLs
Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last 2 miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML
by rolypoly / 03/05/2014 at 7:33am / United Kingdom / Health
by dyingangel246 / 03/05/2014 at 5:15am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother asked me why her new airsoft gun wasn't working. I explained to her that it doesn't actually shoot air, it requires pellets too. She looked at me like I was too stupid to be her son. FML
by Drizztreri / 03/04/2014 at 7:09pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
Today, I had the most intelligent conversation I've ever had with my boyfriend. He was getting really in-depth about subjects like biotechnology and gamma radiation. I soon realized he was only referring to the Incredible Hulk. FML
by cubs44fan / 03/04/2014 at 6:25pm / United States (Indiana) / Geek
by meandme / 03/04/2014 at 5:55pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, my students presented their projects on genetics to the rest of the class. One student told the class that salted and unsalted peanuts were an example of genetic variation. She was serious. FML
by Biologyfacepalm / 03/03/2014 at 2:58pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 03/03/2014 at 11:30am / Miscellaneous
Today, my car was found with a smashed window and a torn-apart steering column, in order to hot-wire it. The thief didn't get away with my car, though. The engine was in the garage, where I've been working on it for two days. FML
by minauto / 02/27/2014 at 6:58pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was doodling randomly during a meeting at work, and I noticed my drawing was beginning to look a bit like a penis. A coworker was eyeing it so I tried to make it something else by adding... oh good, now it's a penis and balls. FML
by doodler / 02/27/2014 at 6:59am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I had to proofread a document my boss had written. When I pointed out that he spelled "college" as "collage" multiple times, he angrily accused me of trying to make him look stupid. This is the guy who constantly boasts about his "genius" IQ level to the whole office. FML
by cunting cuntface of a boss / 02/25/2014 at 3:42pm / Australia / Work
by Author / 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML
by crap / 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm / United States (Nevada) / Animals
Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML
by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was babysitting an 8-year-old boy. He was playing with play-doh and made a sculpture that resembled a penis. I tried to cover up and asked if it was an action figure. He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, "It's a DICK." FML
by hot sweet.... not / 02/23/2014 at 5:27pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Kids
Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML
by goodbye cruel world / 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- Today, in the middle of sex, my boyfriend sighed, said "I can't do this any more" and pulled out.… Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety.… Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over…