About tompou6 : I'm a sailing instructor during the summer and I'm a Primary Care Paramedic student. Msg me if you want to talk.
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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tompou6's favorite FMLs
Today, my students all handed in their 1,000 word papers. The assignment was for them to write about a strong, benevolent leader who influenced the world. Around half of the papers were about Hitler. FML
by Anonymous / 04/02/2014 at 7:30am / Australia (Victoria) / Work
by IcyWinter / 04/02/2014 at 4:16am / Canada (Manitoba) / Kids
by derped-out sperm / 04/01/2014 at 5:41pm / Ireland / Kids
Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML
by someone / 04/01/2014 at 3:21pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love
Today, disappointed with my results on a mathematics test, I went over it and realized my teacher had added up the marks incorrectly, leaving me with 17% less than I earned. The person who's supposed to be teaching me math can't even perform basic arithmetic. FML
by Anonymous / 04/01/2014 at 1:07pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while on patrol with my partner, we came across a guy getting a beat-down on the sidewalk. After restraining the attacker, we helped the victim to his feet, only for him to spit at us and call us "goddamn pigs". You're welcome, sir. FML
by dunno why we bother / 03/31/2014 at 4:07pm / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I was at a wedding reception with loud music. A guy told me that his sister couldn't be there because she "went home to be with her boy." I said, "That's too bad, she's missing a great party." He paused and repeated, "She went home to be with her LORD." FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 12:43am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by ohdear. / 03/29/2014 at 7:07pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Work
Today, I went on a trip to Cleveland. After getting lunch, my brother and I started walking back to my car. Halfway there, we were jumped, threatened with a knife, and yelled at to hand over our money. The only thing my brother could do was ask our mugger, "Uh, what gender are you?" FML
by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 6:05pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, a would-be customer practically kicked my store door in, then got pissed and started throwing around insults after I told him that we were still closed, hence the closed sign. He claimed the sign was "confusing". FML
by IDIOT / 03/28/2014 at 4:11pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 03/28/2014 at 3:23pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by ClaustrophobicNightmares / 03/28/2014 at 4:42am / Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad) / Work
Today, I'm in Venice for a romantic weekend. While I was gushing about the gondolas, canals and the city of love in general, the only thing my boyfriend could say was, "Wow! How cool is it to be on the set of the Tomb Raider movie?" FML
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…
- Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties,… Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was…