About tompou6 : I'm a sailing instructor during the summer and I'm a Primary Care Paramedic student. Msg me if you want to talk.
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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tompou6's favorite FMLs
Today, freshly dumped and at a bar, I focussed my attention on trying to stand in such a way that I looked like an attractive, alluring, confident person. Apparently I forgot how to successfully stand upright and sprained my ankle. FML
by jjcod / 05/31/2014 at 5:13am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Health
by Baby eater / 05/19/2014 at 8:00pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids
Today, I took my son to lunch. After we ate, the waitress came over and told me that my son was the most well-behaved child they had ever had there. His response was to pull his pants down and moon the entire restaurant while smacking his bottom. FML
by BekkyLove15 / 05/18/2014 at 8:12pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Kids
Today, I was on my way to my first job interview in months. I wasn't even halfway to the place when a bunch of cockbites in a car drove past and hurled a bucket of paint out the window, drenching me and several other people on the street. FML
by spasti-cunt / 05/17/2014 at 4:51pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous
by Wowthanks / 05/04/2014 at 8:13pm / United States (Colorado) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was waiting on a Canadian tourist at work, and he bought some of the most expensive stuff on the menu. I was excited about maybe getting a big tip, so I casually said that in the USA, waiters make most of our money off tips. The guy just snorted, "Sucks to be American, eh?!" and left. FML
by yes, yes it does :( / 04/30/2014 at 5:11pm / United States / Work
Today, while I was making dinner, my husband argued that our new dog has intelligence issues, and we should give him away. I angrily defended the poor thing, and had almost won, until the dog walked over and licked the inside of the hot oven door. FML
by Anonymous / 04/30/2014 at 1:17am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, after getting home from finals and finishing the semester, I had a very heartfelt reunion with my dog during which he licked me all over the face. About an hour later, my dad told me, "By the way, don't let him lick you, he has hookworms." FML
by Anon / 04/29/2014 at 10:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
by as-salamu alaykum, motherfucker / 04/05/2014 at 6:04pm / United Kingdom (Wirral) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was supervising a written exam, which took place in a really warm room. Half of the two hundred participants has probably never heard of deodorants. The other half used probably the whole can this morning. I had to stay in this inferno of stench for five hours. FML
by RIP_Nose / 04/03/2014 at 5:48pm / Germany (Bayern) / Work
by kubbyp / 04/03/2014 at 5:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Welshite / 04/03/2014 at 4:53pm / United States / Work
by wiona / 04/03/2014 at 1:22pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, my 14-year-old son's pathetic rebellion came to a head. He ran away from home, leaving a note saying he hates me and was leaving forever to be part of a gang his friends had formed. He came back an hour later crying. His whole gang had gotten mugged, which he somehow blamed me for. FML
by I Have Failed / 04/02/2014 at 4:10pm / Spain (Madrid) / Kids