About tompou6 : I'm a sailing instructor during the summer and I'm a Primary Care Paramedic student. Msg me if you want to talk.
tompou6's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
tompou6's favorite FMLs
Today, I was elected to learn how to clean the birthing tub at the hospital I work at. Today, I also discovered that while blood doesn't bother me, floating chunks of afterbirth and god knows what else, will cause me to projectile vomit into said tub. Which I still had to clean afterwards. FML
by StomachofTinfoil / 11/23/2014 at 8:59pm / United States (Maine) / Work
by Veronica / 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was counselling a soon-to-be teen mom. She has a younger step-brother, and when I asked her how she handled him when he cries, she said, "Oh, that's when you cover their face until they stop!" FML
by Anonymous / 11/16/2014 at 9:25pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by thefatnurse / 11/12/2014 at 9:48pm / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Xx_DEXIJOKER_xX / 11/11/2014 at 10:16pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work
Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML
by jennabee97 / 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I tried being rebellious for the first time in my life by sneaking out past my curfew. I decided to use my bedroom window to stealthily leave the house. I ended up twisting my ankle when I tried to make my "grand" escape. FML
by thatsureshowedme / 11/08/2014 at 3:33pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health
Today, a character in the video game I was playing called my character a slut. My boyfriend ripped the controller from my hands, shot him dead, then fired the rest of my ammo into his corpse while yelling "FUCK YOU, BUDDY!" Good to know I'm dating a total lunatic. FML
by notsofriendly / 11/06/2014 at 3:15pm / United States (Texas) / Love
by HelpMe1 / 11/06/2014 at 1:53am / Indonesia (Jakarta Raya) / Work
by boobear511 / 11/02/2014 at 7:26pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by wow / 11/02/2014 at 10:23am / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Halloween Fail / 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2014 at 2:35pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML
by thewrittenrebel / 10/28/2014 at 3:40am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Animals
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…