Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tomk

Search for a member

tomk

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 28 September 1991 (22 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1767
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About tomk : I laugh at my life.


Talk.

www.myspace.com/youaresuperslick
i8yurmother@hotmail.com

tomk's page activity

Visits<b>cmansson</b> - the 02/20/2011 at 1:34pm<b>wtfismyfml</b> - the 10/17/2009 at 6:08pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 10/12/2009 at 10:31pm<b>terimaa</b> - the 10/09/2009 at 6:04pm<b>xChesterx</b> - the 09/29/2009 at 11:04am<b>muffy_da_bear</b> - the 08/09/2009 at 10:58am<b>klutzilla1275</b> - the 07/04/2009 at 11:54am<b>snavula</b> - the 07/03/2009 at 1:13am<b>beccalee95</b> - the 07/02/2009 at 10:33pm<b>iBimmer</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 6:30pm<b>Kyonikov</b> - the 06/20/2009 at 10:37am<b>custer3_5</b> - the 06/18/2009 at 3:41pm<b>Gretzkey20</b> - the 05/01/2009 at 6:51pm<b>Creat1ve</b> - the 04/23/2009 at 10:22am<b>makebelieve</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 4:23pm<b>maddie94</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 6:33am<b>Ineffableturtle</b> - the 04/18/2009 at 1:43am<b>Mazzy</b> - the 04/09/2009 at 3:18am

tomk's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tomk's favorite FMLs

Today, I rented some movies in attempts to cheer up my best friend. Her husband just died a few weeks ago in a helicopter accident. I was in a rush and didn't read the descriptions of the two films, one was about a plane crash where all the passengers died. She cried through the entire movie. FML

#2931703
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9311) - you deserved it (79323)

On 06/16/2009 at 1:41am - misc - by idiotfriend (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77952) - you deserved it (21838)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

#2780499
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70350) - you deserved it (4918)

On 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Sylvania - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML

#2209571
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50148) - you deserved it (7937)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm - love - by Ames (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18290) - you deserved it (87384)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18290) - you deserved it (87384)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18290) - you deserved it (87384)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

#1353969
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70721) - you deserved it (52604)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was crocheting while watching television, and thinking to myself how proud I was that I taught myself to crochet. Then, an episode of Golden Girls came on, and I watched that while I crocheted. I'm 24. FML

#1221621
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25015) - you deserved it (36505)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had horrible pains in my stomach area so I went to the doctors. They couldn't find anything wrong and sent me to the Emergency Room for X-rays. After spending the entire day in the hospital, they tell me I'm slightly constipated. I had to pay $400 to find out I had to take a shit. FML

#973952
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30373) - you deserved it (50128)

On 04/14/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by blehh (man) - United States

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

#927368
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82050) - you deserved it (5185)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I checked my Facebook to find I had been tagged in a bunch of photos from a party I had attended last night. On each picture I had a comment from my mom saying, "You're grounded." FML

#322289
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30347) - you deserved it (75892)

On 03/14/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML

#318260
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25305) - you deserved it (60327)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by skc (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting in Science class and to my surprise I felt my pants suddenly becoming warm and wet. I looked behind me to see that 4 boys from my class had inserted a small funnel into my exposed buttcrack and where pouring the melted butter from the experiment into that area. FML

#260451
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88565) - you deserved it (26918)

On 03/10/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by Sarah - United Kingdom (Bolton)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: