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tomatotamata's favorite FMLs
Today, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. We got on the subject of theatre, and his dad brought up "The Book of Mormon", how finally someone was making fun of those "nasty, polygamist, cultist freaks", and if his son ever dated one, he would disown him. I'm Mormon. FML
by kenabrookee / 04/03/2013 at 1:48am / United States (California) / Love
by fuck YOLO / 04/03/2013 at 1:20am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by SayCheese / 04/02/2013 at 6:52pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 12:15pm / United States / Work
by ItsAnanya / 04/02/2013 at 11:34am / India (Delhi) / Love
by Anonymous / 04/02/2013 at 6:30am / United States (Texas) / Work
by QuinnyZebrass / 04/02/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Arizona) / Work
Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML
by Marco / 04/01/2013 at 5:00pm / United States / Intimacy
by madiison09 / 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by tkrause / 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I was babysitting, and after the kids fell asleep I started hiding the Easter candy. They woke up when I was half-done, and it didn't take them long to figure out what was going on. They won't stop crying, and every time I go near them, they scream "LIAR!" FML
by Anonymous / 04/01/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML
by everyoneheard / 03/28/2013 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy
by Bigfatfailure / 03/28/2013 at 6:02am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the pool when I saw a man eating the food I had ordered near my seat. I immediately ran up to him and asked him to stop stealing my food. I took the food away and threw it in the trash. Seconds later the attendant came out with my actual food. FML
by Hahamaster333 / 03/27/2013 at 9:02pm / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…