Search for a member

Offline (the 06/21/2016 at 3:07am)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 January 1983 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4629
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About token_blackguy : undercover evil genius.

token_blackguy's page activity

Visits<b>Kuibe</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 3:49am<b>gh0st0110</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 5:55am<b>happypenguins</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 1:07am<b>triplebeerox</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 4:33am<b>marring</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 8:06pm<b>SebastianMaier</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 9:01am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 1:55am<b>alice_18</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 1:26am<b>MissBubblesXoxo</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 5:38am<b>xXpunkymunkyXx</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 8:53pm<b>ileenefudge</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 1:54am<b>jacob2332</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 11:20pm<b>big_boy_roy</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 6:54pm<b>Ohsix</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 12:33am<b>Faith13</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 9:04pm<b>Brandonalvey</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 1:23am<b>tenac71</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 9:00am<b>pattycmom</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 2:03pm

token_blackguy's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.


Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of token_blackguy's badges

token_blackguy's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

by anna / 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm / United States (Mississippi) / Kids

Today, as a science teacher, I did a science experiment in front of a class. One of my students asked me if it was "photoshopped." He was being serious. FML

by jdawn99 / 10/22/2013 at 10:24am / United States (Kansas) / Kids

Today, out of partying reflex, I downed Communion wine like a vodka shot. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 6:05am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to a coworker that "the little red X" next to the email title she's been pushing out of curiosity is actually the delete button. Then, I had to restore the dozen emails she'd deleted even after I told her to stop. She's a manager. I stock shelves for a living. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 5:14pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

by Hannah / 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "being a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that my clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. FML

by Hannah / 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML

by Embarrassed / 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm / United States / Health

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

by Alone / 12/28/2012 at 12:24am / United States / Love

Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML

by annie_nk / 12/26/2012 at 12:25pm / United States (Utah) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after giving my mother and my girlfriend their Christmas presents, I realized just how similar they looked both in box size and wrapping paper. I noticed after my mother gasped upon finding a vibrator in her box. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2012 at 2:12am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

by ladylol / 11/24/2012 at 8:54am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Intimacy

Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

by Watchtower? More like fortress. / 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm / Norway (Oslo) / Miscellaneous

Today, while making love to my wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on my cheek. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm / Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj) / Intimacy

Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML

by hnickell93 / 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm / United States (California) / Love