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todster8's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by screwedupkid / 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm / Miscellaneous
by muddled / 05/02/2012 at 2:16am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Monkeyless / 05/01/2012 at 11:59pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Animals
Today, my new neighbours moved in. I've neither seen nor spoken to them yet; all I know is that they enjoy hammering at the walls for hours on end and repeatedly setting off the fire alarm. All this in the small hours of the morning. I got two hours of sleep. FML
by Anonymous / 05/01/2012 at 3:51pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Nice / 05/01/2012 at 9:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by lowlife123 / 04/30/2012 at 11:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
by pathetic / 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Geek
by lindsaykay / 04/17/2012 at 8:07pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML
by jonasister / 04/15/2012 at 2:43pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy
Today, I was waiting in line for what seemed like forever at the only open lane at the grocery store. The guy in front of me took his sweet time and had multiple cards rejected, before finally pulling out a $100 bill and demanding exact change. He was buying a carton of milk. FML
by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 3:27pm / United States (Arizona) / Money
Today, I got home to find our house broken into. Among other things, the thieves took our television, my laptop and several pieces of expensive jewelry. Also missing was my daughter's My Little Pony collection. I think we were robbed by a Brony. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2012 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by kellie1115 / 04/10/2012 at 12:41am / United States (West Virginia) / Love
Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML
by Kait / 04/05/2012 at 12:13am / United States / Work
by Scarred / 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals
- Today, I discovered that my Facebook profile picture, of me between my boyfriend and a friend, is… Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in… Today, I found out that pinching the tip of the condom before you roll it down to the base is NOT a…