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toasty_narwals

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toasty_narwals

146Fucked!

toasty_narwalstoasty_narwals
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 27 February 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1851
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About toasty_narwals : About me:
~5' 1"
~green eyes
~born on leap year (I don't know why my birth date keeps getting changed)
~agnostic
~pro-choice
~feminist and equalist
~LGBTQ ally - love=love
~cat lady - her name is Waffles and she's a little angel :3
~cosmetology student - graduate in May 2015
~ I have an amazing boyfriend * together since January 19th, 2013 *
I like to talk so feel free to message me I almost always reply

toasty_narwals's page activity

Visits<b>03stroker03</b> - 2 hours ago<b>photogirl17</b> - 3 hours ago<b>Edogg215</b> - 6 hours ago<b>joshtapp</b> - 6 hours ago<b>Bulldozer36</b> - 7 hours ago<b>The_Avatar</b> - 7 hours ago<b>colvindj</b> - 8 hours ago<b>AirBusDriver</b> - 10 hours ago<b>hardflip95</b> - 13 hours ago<b>ASeeR</b> - 17 hours ago<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - 17 hours ago<b>hasanjk</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Markovski</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Contiinuous</b> - 20 hours ago<b>hahatofunny</b> - 20 hours ago<b>qdawg06</b> - 20 hours ago<b>RealSuperSand</b> - 21 hours ago<b>coolsoccer1234</b> - 21 hours ago

Fucked!<b>photogirl17</b> - just now<b>joshtapp</b> - 10 minutes ago<b>The_Avatar</b> - one hour ago<b>hasanjk</b> - 14 hours ago<b>martin8337</b> - 20 hours ago<b>Kamorka</b> - yesterday at 10:34am<b>Acerhawk</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:45pm<b>therealjc</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 9:42pm<b>imkool136</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 4:53am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 11:50am<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:19am<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 4:13am<b>gavdarv</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 11:01am<b>StargazeKitsune</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 8:26am<b>hellpop</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 2:35pm<b>Girlwithaflute</b> - the 05/13/2015 at 10:19pm<b>ENCOURAGER</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 6:41am<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 5:52am

toasty_narwals's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of toasty_narwals's badges

toasty_narwals's favorite FMLs

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18202) - you deserved it (34408)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

#21314853
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29065) - you deserved it (6842)

On 12/10/2014 at 3:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43470) - you deserved it (27757)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35301) - you deserved it (11549)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friend announced that she'd lost weight recently. As I was congratulating her, my baby sister said, "I think you're still fat but that's good because you can give more meat to God when you go to heaven." Now I have to explain to a 6-year-old that God isn't a cannibal. FML

#21152005
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46097) - you deserved it (5321)

On 05/26/2014 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42351) - you deserved it (3772)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML

#21070515
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44172) - you deserved it (6234)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54782) - you deserved it (6737)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at the grocery store, an elderly woman asked for help with some tea. I lent her a hand, spending a good twenty minutes reading different labels out loud until she found one she liked. After she was done, she handed me a pamphlet and said, "You're a nice girl. I hope you don't go to hell." FML

#21050005
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40969) - you deserved it (4382)

On 02/04/2014 at 1:16am - misc - by Lithiac - United States (Florida)

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I asked my husband to try a little foreplay for once, instead of just rushing into sex. His idea of foreplay was to sweetly whisper that he was going to "penis" me so hard. That's the first time I've heard the word "penis" used as a verb, and hopefully the last. FML

#21007475
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49188) - you deserved it (6476)

On 12/27/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45628) - you deserved it (3461)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

#20926483
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43731) - you deserved it (4783)

On 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm - misc - by overly nationalistic redneck (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)



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