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toalysium

Offline (the 08/18/2014 at 5:55am) | Search for a member

toalysium

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 June 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1126
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About toalysium : Just here to revel in others' misery. It's particularly awesome when it's caused by their own stupidity. I wish there was a "You suck at life." option for voting.

toalysium's page activity

Visits<b>TEZZ</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 4:35pm<b>awkwardloveannie</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 12:34pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 11:04pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 9:39am<b>ArsalanBTRfan</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:36am<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:00am<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:57am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:25am<b>vlalam</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 11:32pm<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 10:13pm<b>phenomenon87</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 9:35pm<b>f36k</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 9:06pm<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 12:19am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 7:55pm<b>fmlrulesBolt</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 4:35pm<b>VVasquez</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 3:45am<b>DollyDope</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 3:25pm

toalysium's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of toalysium's badges

toalysium's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to break up a fistfight between my wife and mother. Apparently, my mom heard that I finally got the great paying job of my dreams, and told my wife I'd finally kick her "useless ass to the curb." We have to spend the holidays together. FML

#18056102
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25303) - you deserved it (3111)

On 10/23/2011 at 5:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

#18039986
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17324) - you deserved it (31332)

On 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to the store to pick up some tampons. After waiting in line for about 10 minutes, the male cashier looked at me when I was leaving and said, "Have a nice... week!" FML

#18023767
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31490) - you deserved it (4649)

On 10/19/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by sarah (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, for our 3rd anniversary, I gave my boyfriend a watch, courtesy of Rolex. He gave me herpes, courtesy of his other girlfriend. FML

#18014393
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50050) - you deserved it (4554)

On 10/18/2011 at 10:16am - health - by stdpositivenow (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to hint to my husband that we needed a new washing machine. I mentioned that we got our current one way back on our wedding day. He replied, "Yeah, and I got you too." FML

#17999890
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25132) - you deserved it (7177) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by poluxe - France

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

#17975450
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30472) - you deserved it (3759)

On 10/13/2011 at 3:20pm - love - by Eet- (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

#17919318
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27947) - you deserved it (10051)

On 10/06/2011 at 11:23am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20505) - you deserved it (44502)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

#17837739
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (6092)

On 09/26/2011 at 6:37am - work - by gotanewmouse - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

#14180759
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33716) - you deserved it (4047)

On 12/12/2010 at 4:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was bored at my job at Home Depot. I got a bar code tattoo 3 weeks ago and thought it would be funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammer. FML

#881347
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38598) - you deserved it (129647)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
519 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54156) - you deserved it (313980)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

#29434
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10339) - you deserved it (121234)

On 02/12/2009 at 1:00am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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