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toalysium

Offline (the 08/18/2014 at 5:55am) | Search for a member

toalysium

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 June 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1055
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About toalysium : Just here to revel in others' misery. It's particularly awesome when it's caused by their own stupidity. I wish there was a "You suck at life." option for voting.

toalysium's page activity

Visits<b>TEZZ</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 4:35pm<b>awkwardloveannie</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 12:34pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 11:04pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 9:39am<b>ArsalanBTRfan</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:36am<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:00am<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:57am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:25am<b>vlalam</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 11:32pm<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 10:13pm<b>phenomenon87</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 9:35pm<b>f36k</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 9:06pm<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 12:19am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 7:55pm<b>fmlrulesBolt</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 4:35pm<b>VVasquez</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 3:45am<b>DollyDope</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 3:25pm

toalysium's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of toalysium's badges

toalysium's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad finally met my girlfriend. Unfortunately, he was driving the ambulance that she was in, due to severe alcohol poisoning and was on the way to the hospital to have her stomach pumped. FML

#19021363
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23802) - you deserved it (6807)

On 02/07/2012 at 8:40pm - health - by screwed - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was dumped. My boyfriend was too afraid to break up with me, so he sent the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#19013163
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34291) - you deserved it (2397)

On 02/06/2012 at 8:23pm - love - by Nanabanana1 (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my professor what happened to the assignment I gave him several weeks ago. Turns out he lost it, and graded me zero as a result. Now if I want a mark, he says I'll have to hand-write it all over again, but that I "probably shouldn't bother," because it was "a bit shit, really." FML

#19011157
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23014) - you deserved it (1961)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I picked up a prostitute. The prostitute was my sister, and I picked her up from jail. FML

#18967800
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55100) - you deserved it (4233)

On 02/01/2012 at 10:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33477) - you deserved it (3034)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML

#18891516
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (2824)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:07pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31809) - you deserved it (4978)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML

#18822523
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34858) - you deserved it (14237)

On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was walking to the bus stop when someone slapped an innocent person in the face with a fish. I was that innocent person. FML

#18812835
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31845) - you deserved it (3389)

On 01/15/2012 at 5:24am - misc - by lolwtfbbq444 - Australia

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

#18811404
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31662) - you deserved it (6846)

On 01/15/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I walked in on my sister sitting on the toilet, trying to use "The Force" to pull over the toilet paper roll sitting on the sink. FML

#18808709
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19378) - you deserved it (3481)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:24pm - misc - by 2gewd4u - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML

#18804066
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (5889)

On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42628) - you deserved it (3828)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

#18802490
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26666) - you deserved it (8605)

On 01/14/2012 at 1:52am - intimacy - by haggisbowl - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49217) - you deserved it (46269)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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