toalysium

Search for a member

Offline (the 08/18/2014 at 5:55am)

toalysium

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 June 1983 (33 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3165
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About toalysium : Just here to revel in others' misery. It's particularly awesome when it's caused by their own stupidity. I wish there was a "You suck at life." option for voting.

toalysium's page activity

Visits<b>Abskb1</b> - the 09/12/2016 at 5:57pm<b>stricker30</b> - the 04/05/2016 at 7:05pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 9:26pm<b>theswanlake</b> - the 07/19/2015 at 12:25pm<b>myexactname</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:14am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 3:05pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 11:45am<b>JoshArson</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:10am<b>TEZZ</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 4:35pm<b>awkwardloveannie</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 12:34pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 11:04pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 9:39am<b>ArsalanBTRfan</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:36am<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:00am<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:57am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:25am<b>vlalam</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 11:32pm

Fucked!<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 9:05pm

toalysium's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of toalysium's badges

toalysium's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

by fmlsomuch / 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

by ashleynicolle / 02/25/2012 at 1:16am / United States (Arkansas) / Intimacy

Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML

by music man / 02/24/2012 at 7:50pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML

by vsshopper / 02/22/2012 at 2:21pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

by Gavin / 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Intimacy

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML

by elizabethyeo / 02/20/2012 at 5:01am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

by -_- / 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Intimacy

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

by 97 / 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

by dummy / 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

by Anonymous / 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

by workaholic / 02/15/2012 at 6:09am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he put me through so much heartache last year was because the make-up sex was awesome. FML

by makeupsex / 02/14/2012 at 6:25am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

by Jarryd / 02/10/2012 at 12:40am / Australia / Miscellaneous

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

by A / 02/09/2012 at 1:37am / United States / Animals