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toalysium

Offline (the 08/18/2014 at 5:55am) | Search for a member

toalysium

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 June 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1057
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About toalysium : Just here to revel in others' misery. It's particularly awesome when it's caused by their own stupidity. I wish there was a "You suck at life." option for voting.

toalysium's page activity

Visits<b>TEZZ</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 4:35pm<b>awkwardloveannie</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 12:34pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 11:04pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 9:39am<b>ArsalanBTRfan</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:36am<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:00am<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:57am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:25am<b>vlalam</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 11:32pm<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 10:13pm<b>phenomenon87</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 9:35pm<b>f36k</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 9:06pm<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 12:19am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 7:55pm<b>fmlrulesBolt</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 4:35pm<b>VVasquez</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 3:45am<b>DollyDope</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 3:25pm

toalysium's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of toalysium's badges

toalysium's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my mom about an article I'd seen that said people tend to make the most mistakes at 2 to 3 in the morning. Without a trace of humor in her voice, she said, "Tell me about it. You were conceived round about then." FML

#19161830
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24961) - you deserved it (2839)

On 02/25/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by fmlsomuch - Japan

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

#19158287
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9412) - you deserved it (31707)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I told my girlfriend of two years that I love her. She replied, "Um, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just shut up?" FML

#19156004
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30573) - you deserved it (3301)

On 02/24/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by music man (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend of two years. I realized I was going to be late for work, so I asked him to hand me my underwear. I had never seen the underwear he gave me before. FML

#19139021
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36905) - you deserved it (3329)

On 02/22/2012 at 2:21pm - intimacy - by vsshopper (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26267) - you deserved it (4057)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML

#19121013
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8558) - you deserved it (40920)

On 02/20/2012 at 5:01am - misc - by elizabethyeo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

#19102316
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26268) - you deserved it (3509)

On 02/17/2012 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

#19101207
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35261) - you deserved it (5466)

On 02/17/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by 97 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

#19095316
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27064) - you deserved it (5044)

On 02/16/2012 at 7:03pm - intimacy - by dummy - United States

Today, I was holding my 3 year old brother, and apparently he thinks it's hilarious to pull my tank top down and scream ''BOOBS!'' in public. FML

#19093688
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30254) - you deserved it (4424)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, Target asked me if I would do the closing announcement. I've only been working there a little while, so excited I agreed. I told people, "The store is now closing, thank you for shopping at Walmart." FML

#19088946
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15773) - you deserved it (29129)

On 02/15/2012 at 9:03pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while I was at work, my boyfriend decided to give my Cocker Spaniel a haircut. I now have the equivalent of an over-sized naked mole rat running around my house. FML

#19083975
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20077) - you deserved it (2525)

On 02/15/2012 at 6:09am - animals - by workaholic (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me that the only reason he put me through so much heartache last year was because the make-up sex was awesome. FML

#19071963
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28314) - you deserved it (4613)

On 02/14/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by makeupsex (woman) - Canada

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

#19039187
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26988) - you deserved it (6584)

On 02/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Jarryd - Australia

Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML

#19032075
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24042) - you deserved it (3606)

On 02/09/2012 at 1:37am - animals - by A (woman) - United States



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