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toalysium

Offline (the 08/18/2014 at 5:55am) | Search for a member

toalysium

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 June 1983 (31 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1059
  • Number of comments : 127
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About toalysium : Just here to revel in others' misery. It's particularly awesome when it's caused by their own stupidity. I wish there was a "You suck at life." option for voting.

toalysium's page activity

Visits<b>TEZZ</b> - the 03/09/2014 at 3:31pm<b>Lindsey_Marie</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 4:35pm<b>awkwardloveannie</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 12:34pm<b>vegasked</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 11:04pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 9:39am<b>ArsalanBTRfan</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:36am<b>legendofizzy</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 7:00am<b>Apretendbiscuit</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 5:57am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 11/02/2013 at 12:25am<b>vlalam</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 11:32pm<b>arrrrrlennie</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 10:13pm<b>phenomenon87</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 9:35pm<b>f36k</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 9:06pm<b>hatrickpatrick13</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 12:19am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 09/26/2013 at 7:55pm<b>fmlrulesBolt</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 4:35pm<b>VVasquez</b> - the 06/19/2013 at 3:45am<b>DollyDope</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 3:25pm

toalysium's FML badges

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of toalysium's badges

toalysium's favorite FMLs

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

#20826991
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52465) - you deserved it (9176)

On 08/08/2013 at 8:54am - love - by names suck and so do I (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10369) - you deserved it (70156)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

#20124966
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26676) - you deserved it (1892)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30638) - you deserved it (6428)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

#20064293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22237) - you deserved it (4358)

On 09/09/2012 at 4:34am - love - by JB (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

#20064293
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22237) - you deserved it (4358)

On 09/09/2012 at 4:34am - love - by JB (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

#20056763
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8423) - you deserved it (51220)

On 09/04/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Cherrish it - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML

#20056354
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18014) - you deserved it (23338)

On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally confronted my boyfriend and asked him if he was cheating on me. He got flustered and said, "Technically, I'm cheating with you, not on you." FML

#20049344
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31054) - you deserved it (2513)

On 08/30/2012 at 11:24am - love - by nice one (woman) -

Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML

#20026176
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28357) - you deserved it (6153)

On 08/17/2012 at 9:31am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I worked overtime with three guys who never shut up about partying and getting laid. When I finally escaped the testosterone and got home, the first thing I heard was my grandpa telling my dad all about how he once fisted a girl to orgasm. FML

#20023096
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32091) - you deserved it (2684)

On 08/15/2012 at 6:52pm - intimacy - by what the FUCK (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise! FML

#20016279
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45764) - you deserved it (2993)

On 08/12/2012 at 1:49am - intimacy - by happybirthday - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML

#20015589
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14787) - you deserved it (38456)

On 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was brutally dumped over webcam, by my boyfriend, who was taking a dump with the laptop on his lap. FML

#19899263
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26074) - you deserved it (2483)

On 07/06/2012 at 6:51am - love - by Toilettrash (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that because he works fifty hours a week, I should be meeting an arbitrary quota of fifty hours of housework, and if I don't, I'm insensitive and ungrateful. FML

#19895787
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20475) - you deserved it (9200)

On 07/05/2012 at 3:34pm - work - by lazy pregnant girl - United States



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