Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
About toRii_lyn : i love my life.
"Oh take me take me take me
To the dreamer's ball
I'll be right on time and I'll dress so fine
You're gonna love me when you see me
I won't have to worry
Take me take me
Promise not to wake me 'till it's morning
It's all been true"
-Queen, my dear Freddie
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend in a sexy way "What should we do now, honey?" He answered, "Suck my dick?" I said "I was thinking of something more... romantic." He replied "Suck my dick in the moonlight?" FML
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
Friday 5 February 2016