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titandesu

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titandesu
  • Town/Country : agawam, united states
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 20 July 1993 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 31
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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titandesu's favorite FMLs

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40990) - you deserved it (2574)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mother took me to go and see my grandfather, who I hadn't seen since I was 4. The first thing he said to me was, "Pfwoarr, look at those tits." FML

#21085518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45156) - you deserved it (4122)

On 03/13/2014 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42661) - you deserved it (7569)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm, he pulled away and said that my vagina is like a mask and that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to my vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56735) - you deserved it (10176)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to get my boyfriend to roll over while he was asleep. He snores loud enough to wake the neighbors and if he lays on his side he usually stops. Instead of rolling over, he stuck his leg in the air, farted twice, and laughed about it in his sleep. He's still snoring. FML

#20447496
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (5046)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:44am - misc - by no sleep for me -

Today, I was at my job in the Halloween store. I had to tell someone, "Please stop hitting the Bieber wig with that pimp cane." FML

Today, two guys proclaiming that they were both Batman attacked me on the street. FML

#17316735
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26288) - you deserved it (2932)

On 07/31/2011 at 2:17am - health - by The Joker? - United States (Iowa)

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

#15250352
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44675) - you deserved it (4109)

On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30757) - you deserved it (3886)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States



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