Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tisiphone

Search for a member

tisiphone

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3805
  • Number of comments : 584
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About tisiphone : I was a soldier for years, and I currently work in telecommunications. I love riding motorcycles, marksmanship, playing video games, and embarrassing men at all of the above. >;) I don't flame, but I'm not afraid to tell it how it is. If you don't act like a complete idiot, I'll do my best to stick up for you.

Some of my very favorite FML posters for their reason, humor, and just plain being awesome are:
Perdix
Freeze
RedPillSucks
Monikabug
Cinn
PsychoMerk
capilot
catkat1988

tisiphone's page activity

Visits<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 8:45am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 12/29/2015 at 3:21am<b>Bulbadragon</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 7:24am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 8:50pm<b>jv622rg</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:54am<b>jacob_coryell98</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 4:28am<b>Amateur_Dank</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 1:59am<b>jcates2685</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 5:00pm<b>onedreamluvme</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 10:25am<b>GroupWorkSucks</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:37am<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 1:20am<b>gbankston7</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 7:07pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 10:04pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:49pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 10:26pm<b>KittyBunny</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 9:49am<b>bscott19</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:26pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 01/17/2016 at 2:45pm

tisiphone's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tisiphone's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend missed our date, so I text her angry, telling her if she can't make our dates then we should break up, and generally telling her off. 5 Minutes later I get a picture message of her sleeping in a hospital bed from her mother saying "Shut the **** up, she had appendicitis." FML

#3361176
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17555) - you deserved it (93121)

On 06/30/2009 at 7:20am - love - by annoyedguy (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML

#2612293
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33310) - you deserved it (79578)

On 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm - misc - by LadyChristina25 - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

#1869680
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7846) - you deserved it (81634)

On 05/12/2009 at 10:11am - misc - by Ottawa (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
722 comments

I agree, your life sucks (765241) - you deserved it (62786)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML

#940649
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47578) - you deserved it (18831)

On 04/12/2009 at 10:49pm - health - by EpicFailAtItsFinest (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the laundromat for the first time. I fit all of my clothes into two washers. Not knowing where to put the soap in, I asked a man doing his laundry, "Excuse me, where do I put the soap in?". He replied, "Ma'am, those are the dryers." FML

#742208
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12796) - you deserved it (78190)

On 04/01/2009 at 5:18am - misc - by esv (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I overheard a conversation two of my friends were having about Homer, so I interjected with a quip about a Simpson's episode I had seen before. They were talking about the poet. I'm an AP literature student. FML

#718521
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14370) - you deserved it (69059)

On 03/31/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by apenglishstudent (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, me and couple of friends were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car at 30 that had stopped to help her. FML

#546076
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9657) - you deserved it (99524)

On 03/23/2009 at 12:31am - misc - by mbrooke (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
799 comments

I agree, your life sucks (830234) - you deserved it (91064)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

#557
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24660) - you deserved it (7911)

On 12/20/2008 at 7:23am - kids - by Lola - Sent from mobile version



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: