Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

tisiphone

Search for a member

tisiphone

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3385
  • Number of comments : 584
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About tisiphone : I was a soldier for years, and I currently work in telecommunications. I love riding motorcycles, marksmanship, playing video games, and embarrassing men at all of the above. >;) I don't flame, but I'm not afraid to tell it how it is. If you don't act like a complete idiot, I'll do my best to stick up for you.

Some of my very favorite FML posters for their reason, humor, and just plain being awesome are:
Perdix
Freeze
RedPillSucks
Monikabug
Cinn
PsychoMerk
capilot
catkat1988

tisiphone's page activity

Visits<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 10/30/2014 at 10:04pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 9:49pm<b>sleepwalker13</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 10:26pm<b>KittyBunny</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 3:47pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 9:49am<b>bscott19</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:26pm<b>cokeman666</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 8:24am<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 7:19am<b>alexishbu</b> - the 07/10/2014 at 5:42pm<b>FootballGod911</b> - the 07/05/2014 at 4:46pm<b>UberNova</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:11pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 10:21am<b>king_of_LA</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 12:32am<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 12:05pm<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 7:40pm<b>turnabouttrial</b> - the 10/08/2013 at 1:43am<b>superfail313</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 11:09pm<b>ohishkabibble</b> - the 08/28/2013 at 2:44am

tisiphone's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

tisiphone's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which my boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing as I screamed 'I Love You'. After I told him about this, he took me into his arms as I cried, stroked my back and said, 'What kind of gun was it?' FML

#9019177
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28950) - you deserved it (6516)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:17am - love - by justlittleoldme (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, while playing Star Wars: The Force Unleashed, my phone rang, and I instinctively tried to pick it up with the Force. I kept trying until it stopped ringing. FML

#8480132
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6341) - you deserved it (40803)

On 02/20/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by analinguist (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML

#8477900
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6413) - you deserved it (32034)

On 02/20/2010 at 12:29pm - misc - by creamed (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a dress up party. The theme was pirates and prostitutes. At the door I was handed a voucher that said: 'Thank you for dressing up. Collect your free drink at the bar.' I didn't dress up. FML

#7839912
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7521) - you deserved it (34343)

On 02/03/2010 at 3:42am - misc - by notaprossie (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating so I broke up with him. As revenge he threw my PS3 and XBox out of the window when I wasn't in our house. I got those consoles out of the spare money my three jobs had brought in - the same three jobs I had to get because he refused to get a job of his own. FML

#7702902
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38198) - you deserved it (7814)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:17am - love - by GamerGirl (woman) - United Kingdom (St. Helens)

Today, after having been a vegetarian for 8 years because I'm opposed to cruelty to animals, I lost a bet and had to eat a whole cheeseburger. I loved it. FML

#7666116
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10443) - you deserved it (51864)

On 01/29/2010 at 2:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my college professor/employer failed to send in a letter I had been counting on for a scholarship application. He has also decided not to pay me for the last two months. I'm not going to make rent. Apparently this is the punishment you get for politely declining a date with a married man. FML

#7193872
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37246) - you deserved it (2534)

On 01/07/2010 at 2:13am - misc - by nothotforteacher (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

#6923345
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26766) - you deserved it (11848)

On 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband of five years told me he's leaving me and will be gone when I return from Iraq. When I told him I love him and asked him not to go, he said he won't file divorce papers just yet, but he's moving out-of-state because "we need time apart." I've been gone for most of the year. FML

#5603629
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41183) - you deserved it (2731)

On 10/02/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by everyonesdivorced (woman) - Iraq (Baghdad)

Today, I took a cute girl out to an arcade date, and mercilessly dominated her in every game there to the point she refused to talk to me afterwards. Gamer Pride:1 - Getting Laid:0. FML

#4673205
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9447) - you deserved it (91895)

On 08/20/2009 at 1:45am - love - by razgriz1 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my job as a flight attendant. A passenger on my plane stopped breathing and turned blue. As I cleared his airways and was busy strapping an oxygen mask to his face, the passenger behind him tried to hand me her trash. Apparently I'm a walking trash can, no matter what I'm doing. FML

#4100528
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62179) - you deserved it (2916)

On 07/28/2009 at 3:29am - work - by skygoddess (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I am working on my Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she is wrong. FML

#3970394
348 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44830) - you deserved it (9411)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:13am - work - by published_anthropologist (man) - United States

Today, I was driving and saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window to whistle at them. However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light. I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing their asses off, and now I have to pay for the damage. FML

#3919159
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8117) - you deserved it (105612)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:14am - love - by embarrassed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called the police regarding people speeding down my street because I was worried for my young kids. On the way home from my daughters ballet class I got pulled over 2 houses away from my house and got a $150 speeding ticket. FML

#3370137
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9443) - you deserved it (106368)

On 06/30/2009 at 4:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: