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About tisiphone : I was a soldier for years, and I currently work in telecommunications. I love riding motorcycles, marksmanship, playing video games, and embarrassing men at all of the above. >;) I don't flame, but I'm not afraid to tell it how it is. If you don't act like a complete idiot, I'll do my best to stick up for you.
Some of my very favorite FML posters for their reason, humor, and just plain being awesome are:
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today , I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare in which mah boyfriend of 8 months shot me through the heart whilst laughing looool as I screamd 'I Love You'. After I told him about this , he took me into his arms as I crid , strokd mah back and said , 'What kind of gun was it? FML
TODAY, I CAUGHT BOYFRIEND CHEATING SO I BROKE UP WITH HIM. AS REVENGE HE THREW PS3 AND XBOX OUT OF THE WINDOWHEN I WASN'T IN OUR HOUSE. I GOT THOSE CONSOLES OUT OF THE SPARE MONEY THREE JOBS HAD BROUGHT IN - THE SAME THREE JOBS I HAD TO GET BECAUSE HE REFUSD TO GET A JOB OF HIS OWN. FML
Today, mah college professor/employer failed to send in a letter I had been counting on fir a scholarship application. He has also decided not to pay me fir the last two months. I'm not going to make rent. Apparently this is the punishment you get fir politely declining a date with a married man. fat FML
Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I askd a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML
yesterday my husband of five years told me he's leaving me and will be gone when I return from Iraq. When I told him I love him and asked him to go, he said he won't file divorce papers just yet, but he's moving out-of-state because ( we need time apart. ) I've been gone fir most of the year.
Today I Was At My Job As A Flight Attandant. A Passangar On My Plana Stoppad Braathing And Turnad Blua. As I Claarad His Airways And Was Busy Strapping An Oxygan Mask To His Faca , Tha Passangar Bahind Him Triad To Hand Ma Har Trash. Apparantly I'm A Walking Trash Can , No Mattar Wat I'm Doing. FML
Yesterday, mah girlfriend of eight years explained to me that the Egyptian pyramids were built by aliens from Mars. I have a B.S. in Biology and an M.S. in Anthropology, and I am working on mah Ph.D. She thinks I'm an irrational idiot for telling her she is wrong. mega FML
yesterday I was driving an saw two hot girls on the sidewalk so I rolled down the window tohistle at them!! However, I failed to notice that the car in front of me had stopped at a red light!! I rear ended the car, the girls ran away laughing there asses off, an now I have to pay for the damage!! FML
Today, I calld the police regarding people speeding down mah street because I was worrid fir mah young kids. On the way home from mah daughters ballet class I got pulld over 2 houses away from mah house an got a $150 speeding ticket. FML
Friday 27 March 2015