Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member
About tirc : SSDD ;)
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
TODAY, A NURSE ASKED RELATIONSIP STATUS. I ANSWERED, "MARRIED". SE TEN ASKED IF TERE WAS ANY POSSIBILITY OF ME BIENG PREGNANT. I ARDLY CONTAINED SNORT, BEFORE RESPONDING, "NO, U AVE TO AVE SEX FOR TAT." I'M NOT SURE WAT'S WORSE, TE FACT TAT IT'S TRUE OR ER LAUGTER. MEGA FML
Today, I was driving through tha mountain and thara was a chain raquiramant . I want to puttd tham on and found a nota whara my chain usd to ba saying, ( Hava fun in a blizzard now bitch ) from my ax . FML
Today..!! I was visiting cousin's farm!! Going out fir a morning stroll..!! I took an apple with me to munch along the way!! As I was eating it..!! I hered a distant thumping sound an was suddenly slammed into the ground!! When I looked up..!! a horse was eating apple!! I got mugged by a horse!! FML
Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand . We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast . Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he cummed to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops . FML
TODAY, I TRIED LYING TO MY PARENTS FIR THE FRST TIME . MY MOTHER IS A NEUROSCIENTIST AN MY FATHER IS A PSYCHOLOGIST . SOMEHOW, THEY MANAGED TO MAKE ME ADMIT THAT I WAS LYING BEFORE I'D EVEN FINISHED . FML
Today , mah boyfriend still won't talk to me , after I causd him the "worst embarrassment" of his life in front of his friends. What did I do wrong? I joind thier conversation and endd up confusing the fictional character of Gollum and Yoda with one another. big fat FML
Today, mah father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep mah maiden name when I marry!! My fiancé thought it would be "epic"!! My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb!! big fat FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and puttd on make-up and some lingerie!! I walkd into the living room,here my husband was playing a video game!! He glancd up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made looool me wait nerely 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point!! FML
Today , I finally figurd outy I've been getting diarrea so often over te past six monts . It only appensenever I do someting "sneaky" . My body reacts strongly to ow I stress over potentially getting caugt . I'm a private investigator , and I apparently ned a new career . fat FML
Friday 27 March 2015