Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 10/05/2015 at 5:01am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Stuttgart, Germany
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 327
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About tintarroja : I love reading these stories...

tintarroja's page activity

Visits<b>Paulcs</b> - the 09/08/2015 at 12:17pm<b>HowSmartOfYou</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 10:41pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 11:24pm<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 12:42am<b>hkhan24</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 2:43am<b>pks2014</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:40pm<b>flyingmind</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 7:16pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:32pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 6:13pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 3:37pm<b>bradoiler</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 3:33pm<b>giantsfan2010</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 2:59pm<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 8:44am<b>mynameischarles</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 2:48am<b>lolszilla</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 5:30pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 1:44pm<b>kaed</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:45pm<b>nhbrock</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 8:56am

Fucked!<b>Kevinmeowbeanz</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 2:45pm<b>dageorge21</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 5:49pm<b>nana_star</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 7:24am<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 5:25pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 12:35pm<b>dakatabg</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:21am<b>sonshadsil94</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:29am

tintarroja's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of tintarroja's badges

tintarroja's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm babysitting for kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4am and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26244) - you deserved it (1952)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mother told me to take a quick shower. When I got out, she told me I took too long, and now I have to pay the utilities bill. My shower was two minutes long. FML


I agree, your life sucks (26579) - you deserved it (1983)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:56pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the only way I can pay my bills this month is if I steal from my 8 year old's birthday money. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (6222)

On 06/02/2015 at 1:58pm - kids - by Cammi0 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Devastated, I told my dad about it, hoping he'd help cheer me up. His advice was, "Just rub one out son, you'll feel better in no time." Thanks dad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46989) - you deserved it (6539)

On 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm - intimacy - by Author (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There was around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is and doesn't think it exists. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44712) - you deserved it (3234)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:27am - work - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML


I agree, your life sucks (53058) - you deserved it (6598)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML


I agree, your life sucks (63206) - you deserved it (5624)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46933) - you deserved it (21116)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML


I agree, your life sucks (71852) - you deserved it (6066)

On 11/25/2013 at 1:16am - intimacy - by why god - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57446) - you deserved it (9804)

On 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Dick the Greater (man) -

Today, I was playing soccer when a player kicked the ball at my crotch. In pain, I kneeled down. The referee came up to me and whispered, "The smaller they are, the more it hurts." FML


I agree, your life sucks (44180) - you deserved it (3830)

On 10/07/2013 at 8:21pm - misc - by Agax (man) - United States (California)

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27589) - you deserved it (4391)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by 9gingerface66 - United States (Florida)

Today, my father came over to my house. I realized there were condoms on the table, so I subtly moved a vase to hide them. He then gave me an unamused look and said "I know you have sex. You've been married for nine years. Grow the fuck up, dumbass." FML


I agree, your life sucks (20093) - you deserved it (87139)

On 03/17/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Scarlatine's illustrated FML
  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: