About tintarroja : I love reading these stories...
tintarroja's FML badges
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
tintarroja's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to deal with yet another day of people looking at my name tag and saying "You know nothing, John Snow." with a shit-eating grin, like they're the wittiest people alive. Then I had to deal with my boss telling me to lighten up, because it's "just a joke". FML
by Anonymous / 07/22/2016 at 1:19pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work
Today, my parents installed spyware on my computer after reading an article about teens ordering drugs from the deep web. Now I'm too afraid to watch porn because I don't want my parents to know when I'm jacking off. FML
by AustinFFA / 01/22/2016 at 11:46am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by whatthefuck / 12/27/2015 at 6:22pm / United States (Utah) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/03/2015 at 5:09am / United States (Illinois) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/12/2015 at 9:56pm / United States (New York) / Money
by Cammi0 / 06/02/2015 at 1:58pm / United States / Kids
by Author / 02/24/2014 at 5:22pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I was doing a science presentation about glucose. There was around 20 judges at the event who could've judged me, but instead I got judged by the only person in the whole entire world who doesn't know what glucose is and doesn't think it exists. FML
by anonymous / 02/20/2014 at 12:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I was driving along when I noticed a kid struggling to push his car up the crest of a hill. I jumped out to help him, and he acted surprised to see me. Once we got the car over the hill, it rolled on down. I then saw that no one was actually in the driver's seat. I'd helped a vandal. FML
by Delanto / 02/06/2014 at 11:54am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML
by Anonymous / 01/30/2014 at 7:34am / United States / Kids
by DisturbedMan / 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML
by fuck my eyeballs / 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, my parents kicked me out of the house because they were having a party. They gave me twenty bucks to go see a movie. Well, the movie ended pretty quick, but the trauma of seeing my parents in a swingers' orgy will take some time getting over. FML
by why god / 11/25/2013 at 1:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML
by Dick the Greater / 10/25/2013 at 6:08pm / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was fired from my job because I, in my bosses words, "Abided by company policy to such an…