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tinasuckss

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tinasuckss

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  • Number of visits : 14637
  • Number of comments : 12
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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tinasuckss's page activity

Visits<b>omgbrainZ</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 8:35am<b>ilovebadluck</b> - the 05/20/2014 at 5:40pm<b>kjm1001</b> - the 06/01/2009 at 9:58am<b>tiger01</b> - the 05/16/2009 at 9:45am<b>miltonbradley</b> - the 05/11/2009 at 6:32am<b>bamfanr94</b> - the 05/03/2009 at 2:26am<b>chubs</b> - the 04/27/2009 at 2:20am<b>username666</b> - the 04/22/2009 at 7:23pm<b>SmackZ</b> - the 03/23/2009 at 12:32am

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tinasuckss's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

#4356105
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84289) - you deserved it (6799)

On 08/07/2009 at 4:55am - love - by notsomuchinlove (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

#4350390
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23274) - you deserved it (59359)

On 08/07/2009 at 12:11am - misc - by scaredshitless (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing songs at a funeral in my church. As the organ wasn't in tune I had to use an electronic piano instead. All was going well until in the end of a speech, I accidentally hit the 'demo' button. None of the grieving relatives were impressed by my drum beats and turntable scratches. FML

#4344107
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38480) - you deserved it (6674)

On 08/06/2009 at 8:22pm - work - by Jacky-Boy (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57215) - you deserved it (17206)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML

#3998024
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43172) - you deserved it (12577)

On 07/24/2009 at 2:40am - love - by vanguardwiley (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17153) - you deserved it (68413)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML

#1905564
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39414) - you deserved it (18472)

On 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML

#1905564
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39414) - you deserved it (18472)

On 05/13/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I gave my 16 year old step daughter and her friends a lecture on respecting other people's privacy. Two hours later, I accidentally walked into her room without knocking. She and her friends were giving each other bikini waxes. Now her friends call me the hypocritical pervert. FML

#1885333
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13541) - you deserved it (73018)

On 05/12/2009 at 8:23pm - kids - by firewait (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while and realized that I can lift way more with my left hand than with my right even though I am right handed. I also realized that I jack off with my left hand. FML

#1881658
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10723) - you deserved it (54384)

On 05/12/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

#1866535
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74946) - you deserved it (10807)

On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was masturbating in the dark with the door open. I thought I saw a figure outside my door, because I didn't have my glasses on. After intensely staring at the dark figure for about a minute, thinking it was my imagination, my stepdad said, "you know, I am looking RIGHT at you," FML

#1592701
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22987) - you deserved it (82111)

On 05/03/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by danggit3290 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I roll over in bed and ask my boyfriend if we can go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3 p.m. FML

#1520642
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78789) - you deserved it (8479)

On 05/01/2009 at 10:17am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, an ant bit my penis. That was the first 'mouth' to ever touch it. FML

#1382761
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89404) - you deserved it (21517)

On 04/27/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by hjgjh - United States (California)

Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML

#1222534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20967) - you deserved it (79912)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)



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