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timztwopls1

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timztwopls1

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 September 1986 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 465
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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timztwopls1's page activity

Visits<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/05/2011 at 6:06pm<b>fkdissht</b> - the 10/24/2011 at 10:45am<b>unicornofthesea</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 12:15pm<b>cotroler</b> - the 09/15/2011 at 6:57am<b>pitcherchick24</b> - the 08/29/2011 at 11:24pm<b>Late_night83</b> - the 07/10/2011 at 8:39pm

timztwopls1's FML badges

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of timztwopls1's badges

timztwopls1's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48531) - you deserved it (4682)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33475) - you deserved it (2910)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9392) - you deserved it (33157)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML

#19838492
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25322) - you deserved it (1694)

On 06/24/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by A.W (woman) - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML

#19592983
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26613) - you deserved it (5309)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by mal (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places. To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. FML

#19565371
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4155) - you deserved it (68817)

On 05/02/2012 at 8:43pm - misc - by grovage - United States

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
432 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (22505)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized that my wife is such a bitch normally, she's actually nicer when she is on her period. FML

#17035825
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32856) - you deserved it (7229)

On 07/09/2011 at 12:32am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, while making love, he farted. And blamed it on his dog, who wasn't even in the room. The smell alone could have killed me. FML

#16905122
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35215) - you deserved it (5530)

On 06/29/2011 at 1:13am - intimacy - by crazy_bitch122 - United States (California)

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

#16830910
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34601) - you deserved it (9635)

On 06/24/2011 at 6:45am - intimacy - by Eve (woman) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, like every other day this past week at Bonnaroo, I've been placing my belongings in the cubbyhole inside the portapotties as I use. Today, I also learned that those "cubbyholes" are urinals. FML

#16666197
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7942) - you deserved it (47908)

On 06/14/2011 at 8:07pm - misc - by Savannah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I stayed at my boyfriend's house after mine was broken into. The robber took my laptop, jewellery, and tons of clothes. When I walked into his house, I was greeted by his brother, wearing one of my stolen shirts. FML

#16531182
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47159) - you deserved it (3476)

On 06/06/2011 at 3:00pm - misc - by Danielle - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53497) - you deserved it (9978)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML

#16395878
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39202) - you deserved it (7303)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Username - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML

#16383481
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14366) - you deserved it (55246)

On 05/28/2011 at 5:24am - intimacy - by redhanded (man) - United States (Illinois)



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