timmerdoodle

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timmerdoodle

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 May 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 284
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About timmerdoodle : I could go for a cheesy gordita crunch right about now...

timmerdoodle's page activity

Visits<b>sweet0cheeks</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 1:46pm<b>tea_brewer</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 2:47am<b>InfernoVivo</b> - the 08/10/2013 at 11:41pm<b>Audiobliss</b> - the 08/06/2013 at 2:16pm<b>larson15</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 6:18pm<b>stripes97</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 10:39pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 07/17/2013 at 10:29am<b>sara_rose7</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 5:37pm<b>Colorguardlife_t</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 1:05pm<b>Faith13</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 5:26pm<b>baba01</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 7:02am<b>Izzyduck07</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 1:35am<b>loriprieto</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 11:13pm<b>zeropointnine</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 9:35pm<b>SilencioIsTheKey</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 8:48pm

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timmerdoodle's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm / Romania (Bucuresti) / Intimacy

Today, the guy on the floor above me decided it was time for a tuba jam session. Apparently optimal tuba time is 2am. FML

by sleeplessinrichmond / 09/15/2013 at 2:02am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Walmart with my stepmom. We were about to check out when a little sweet-looking old woman came up and asked if she could get in front of us. Seeing as she only had two items in her hands we said yes. Her husband then came up with two carts full of stuff, condoms on top. FML

by sommmerrrr / 09/15/2013 at 12:12am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my entire gym class had to run the 1600 with our coach calling out finishing times. My finishing time was reported as "3 days short of a year." FML

by Anonymous / 09/04/2013 at 1:28pm / United States (South Dakota) / Health

Today, I had to calm my hallucinating mom after she accidentally overdosed on one of her pills, then spend ages trying to protect her from the "monkey" on the wall. FML

by D / 09/03/2013 at 2:04pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I woke up to a strange noise. I looked over to see my drunk husband standing at the dresser. I asked him what he was doing. "Peeing." I asked him, "In the sock drawer?" There was a pause. "Am I peeing in the wrong drawer?" FML

by speechless / 07/13/2013 at 10:32am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 1:50am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML

by Neveragain / 07/01/2013 at 1:49am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my house was egged while I went out shopping. When I told my dad about it, he immediately and casually admitted to being the one who did it, asking, "You got a fucking problem with that, son?" I don't know if he's just messing with my head, or if he really did do it. FML

by thefuck / 06/30/2013 at 6:08pm / Ireland (Cavan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids

Today, I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. Now my back is in agonizing pain, and I can barely walk. FML

by TooYoungForThis / 06/30/2013 at 12:36am / Canada / Health

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

by whipplewhip / 06/30/2013 at 12:21am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

by cmore / 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy