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tigerfish's favorite FMLs
Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML
by xtinasky1 / 03/06/2014 at 11:24pm / United States (Washington) / Kids
by Anonymous / 02/27/2014 at 9:34am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML
by dope_mcfly / 01/29/2014 at 11:55am / United States (New Hampshire) / Miscellaneous
by Rumors / 12/12/2013 at 6:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML
by bobosgonnagetyou / 11/01/2013 at 2:04am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by oD_Ronan / 08/29/2013 at 3:39am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was taking some clothes downstairs to wash, when my mum stopped me. She accused me of sleeping around and trying to hide something, since she did the washing yesterday. She made me admit in front of the whole family that I'd been "surprised" by a case of diarrhea. FML
by ToiletTroubles / 07/03/2013 at 12:19pm / United Kingdom / Health
by Nicks / 07/03/2013 at 11:10am / United States (Nevada) / Intimacy
Today, I was taking my dog for a walk and forgot a bag to pick up his poop, since it's illegal to not pick it up in my town. Right as my dog started to take a dump, a cop car drove by and continued to watch me as I was forced to pick up the poop with my bare hands. FML
by yikes / 03/02/2013 at 10:32am / United States / Animals
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
by Devil / 12/11/2012 at 1:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML
by shadokis / 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 9:37pm / United States (Kansas) / Kids
Today, I was jamming out and playing some air guitar. I somehow managed to knee myself directly in my left eye socket. I now have a hideously swollen face and a black eye. When people ask me what happened, I'll be hesitant to tell the truth. FML
by wtf / 03/08/2012 at 4:03am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/08/2011 at 11:30am / United States / Health
Today, I bleached my hair. Not only did it fry, it also has a very noticeable green tint and because of the damage, I can't dye it again for a while. Now I keep getting asked "Why so serious?" by my friends. FML
by Anonymous / 01/16/2011 at 12:18pm / United Kingdom (Torbay) / Miscellaneous