tifff_xoxo

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tifff_xoxo

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 605
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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tifff_xoxo's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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tifff_xoxo's favorite FMLs

Today, for the third day in a row, my 10-month-old is refusing to eat any of the meals that I prepare for him. He will however eat anything semi-edible lying on the floor, cat kibble included. FML

Today, I was on the bus when I felt a big yawn coming on, one so big that my mouth stretched and my eyes closed. It was at this point that the strange man beside me decided to lean over at lightning speed and put his tongue in my mouth. Technically it was my first kiss. I'm 21 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:33am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Intimacy

Today, I was changing my son's diaper when he said "Momma." Astonished that he'd finally spoken, I clapped and smiled proudly. My clap scared the crap out of him. Literally. FML

by milf / 08/05/2012 at 9:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I got on an elevator at the mall, along with a twelve or thirteen-year-old girl talking on her cell. She spent the whole ride telling the person on the other end how hideous I looked and how I look like a pregnant sperm whale. I was too humiliated to even say anything. FML

by pimpslaprequired / 08/03/2012 at 9:52pm / United States / Kids

Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML

by XxFA1LxX / 07/22/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I confronted my daughter about the various drug-associated items I found in her room. She then confronted me about going in her room and invading her privacy, to the point where I forgot the main issue and apologised to her. I just got outsmarted by a teenage pothead. FML

by apparantlyStupid / 06/27/2012 at 7:28pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, when I told my family I was a vegetarian, I expected them to make fun of me because that's just my family. But what I wasn't expecting was my dad to use raw meat as a puppet and make it say, "Eat me! Eat me!" then throw it at my face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2012 at 10:52am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm / United States / Health

Today, I went to the hair salon. When I got home, my three-year-old daughter told me I looked like Dora the Explorer. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2012 at 12:35am / United States / Kids

Today, I found out that my apartment complex has no rules against having charcoal grills on the porch. So did the guy who lives below me. FML

by Sios / 04/11/2012 at 11:06am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone spray painted a black skull on the side of my house. We painted over it and installed lights to hopefully persuade intruders not to vandalize the property because it would be a bright area. The lights were stolen. FML

by andromeda80 / 03/28/2012 at 9:52am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, it appears that it's Single Loser Awareness Day. FML

by crazytown62 / 02/14/2012 at 10:32am / United States / Love

Today, my misanthropic malcontent of a son smashed my air freshener and turned my faulty lava lamp on in a twisted act of rebellion. The bottom of the lamp broke and got wax everywhere. My room now smells like cinnamon, with a hint of freshly embalmed corpse. FML

by Username / 02/13/2012 at 4:31pm / India / Kids

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

by Ryan / 12/20/2011 at 12:57pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy