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tiffanynickole's favorite FMLs
Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML
by . / 02/26/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 3:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by louise / 01/05/2012 at 2:35pm / United Kingdom (Bristol) / Love
Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML
by vanessa560 / 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by Dickhead / 11/25/2011 at 10:02am / Lebanon / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend drove me home. I mentioned how I had recently started my period and he freaked out, saying I would "leak" through my tampon onto his seat. He made me sit on towels all the way home. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2011 at 8:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, my six-year-old got in an argument with my four-year-old. I told them to go outside. The next thing I know, my son was standing in front of his sister's burning Barbie's Malibu Dream House, singing "Burn Baby Burn" and cackling madly. FML
by TraumatizedMother / 10/02/2011 at 3:27am / United States (New York) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 7:44am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was giving an anti-drugs speech to a group of ninth graders. I got onto the topic of trafficking from problem countries and asked a student to point out Mexico City on a map. He hesitated a few seconds before pointing at Canada. What the hell has the education system come to? FML
by jesus christ / 09/30/2011 at 10:55pm / United States / Kids
by thatoneguy / 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
by anonomys / 09/05/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 8:05am / Reserved / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/05/2011 at 12:38am / Canada (Quebec) / Health
Today, I got my tongue pierced, then went to a pet store. A clerk came up to ask if I needed help. I showed him I already had some fish, and said, "No thanks." He must have thought I was "special," as he bent down and in a baby voice, said "You got fishy? FISHY FISHY FISHY!" while poking the bag. FML
by aprilfools22 / 08/17/2011 at 4:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love
- Today, my boss called me into his office to discuss why I am so unhappy in my new job. In summary -… Today, my suspicions were confirmed- my husband is cheating on me. With his cousin who lives across… Today, I bought my very first new car. I thought I was being pretty clever using the reverse camera…